Blueberry Avocado Muffins

I talked to Rebecca about the retirement thought. Rebecca, my intellectual twin, my Chekhov companion, the person who understands better than anyone what teaching means to me, because Rebecca is also a teacher, at a different level, in a different institution, but the DNA is the same: we stand in front of people and say, "This matters. Think about it." Rebecca listened. She was quiet for a long time — her thinking quiet, not her polite quiet — and then she said, "Mama, you've given forty-two years to those students. You don't owe them forty-three." I said, "I don't see it as owing." She said, "I know you don't. That's why I'm saying it." She paused. "You owe yourself the time you have left with Pop. While he can still sit at your table. While he can still taste your food. While there's still something of him to feed." I said nothing. She was right. She is often right. She is my daughter and my mirror and sometimes the mirror shows me things I would rather not see.

I made a blueberry buckle — an old-fashioned cake-like creation with blueberries folded into the batter and a streusel top that crumbles like a conversation you're not ready to have. The buckle was a project — not difficult, but involved, requiring attention, requiring presence, requiring the focused mindlessness of baking that lets your brain process things you're not ready to process directly. I processed the retirement conversation through the buckle. By the time the buckle was done, the conversation had settled. Not resolved. Settled, like sediment in a river — still there, but no longer churning.

I didn’t have a buckle recipe written down anywhere — I never do, it lives in my hands — but these blueberry avocado muffins are the closest thing I can give you: the same burst of blueberry, the same gentle richness, the same forgiving batter that asks only that you fold it carefully and not overthink it. Rebecca’s words were still settling in me when I pulled them from the oven, and I think that’s exactly right. Some recipes are for feeding people. These were for feeding myself.

Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 22 min | Total Time: 37 min | Servings: 12 muffins

Ingredients

1 ripe avocado, mashed (about 1/2 cup)
1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt
1/2 cup honey or pure maple syrup
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour (or white whole wheat flour)
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon fine salt
1 1/2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries (do not thaw if frozen)
1 tablespoon flour (for tossing with blueberries)

Instructions

Preheat oven. Preheat your oven to 375°F. Line a standard 12-cup muffin tin with paper liners or grease well with nonstick spray.
Mix the wet ingredients. In a large bowl, mash the avocado until very smooth. Whisk in the Greek yogurt, honey (or maple syrup), eggs, and vanilla extract until the mixture is uniform and no large lumps remain.
Add the dry ingredients. Add the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt to the wet ingredients. Stir with a spatula until just combined — do not overmix. The batter will be thick.
Fold in the blueberries. Toss the blueberries with the tablespoon of flour in a small bowl (this helps keep them from sinking). Gently fold them into the batter with a few slow strokes.
Fill the muffin cups. Divide the batter evenly among the 12 muffin cups, filling each about 3/4 full. If desired, press a few extra blueberries onto the tops.
Bake. Bake for 20 to 23 minutes, until the tops are set and a toothpick inserted in the center of a muffin comes out clean or with just a few moist crumbs.
Cool. Let the muffins cool in the pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack. They are best slightly warm but keep well at room temperature for 2 days or refrigerated for up to 5.

Nutrition (per serving)

Blueberry Avocado Muffins — The Buckle I Made When I Wasn’t Ready to Think