By The first week without Joy in the daily orbit, and the house is recalibrating the way a body recalibrates after losing a limb — the phantom presence, the reaching for something that isn't there, the slow rewiring of routine to accommodate the absence. Joy's room on the third floor is empty. I closed the door on Wednesday, the way I will close doors again in this life — the way I closed the door to the Beaufort parsonage when Mama moved, the way I will someday close other doors — and the closing was both practical and ceremonial, a declaration that the room is no longer in use and that the person who used it is somewhere else, being loved by other people, which is both the goal and the grief.
I visited Magnolia House on Saturday, as promised. I brought peach cobbler. Joy was in the art room, painting with Diane, and when she saw me she said, "Naomi! Saturday!" and the naming of both me and the day was a triumph — she knew who I was and she knew what day it was and she was happy, and the happiness was the thing I drove twenty minutes to see, and the seeing was worth every mile.
Mama asked about Joy three times on Monday, twice on Tuesday, and not at all on Wednesday through Friday, and the not-asking was either forgetting or accepting, and I cannot tell the difference, and the inability to tell the difference is the particular torture of loving a person with Alzheimer's: you never know if the silence is peace or blankness, if the calm is acceptance or absence, if the not-asking means she has processed the loss or simply lost the capacity to remember it.
Robert turned fifty-three this week. We celebrated quietly — dinner at home, the coconut cake, no guests. Robert blew out his candles and said, "I want to retire before I'm sixty." The statement was not new — he has been hinting — but the specificity was new: before sixty. Seven years. A timeline. Robert, the lawyer, was presenting his case, and the case was for a life that included more woodworking and less contract law, and the case was compelling.
I made Robert's birthday dinner: steak, roasted potatoes, a green salad that James would approve of and that Robert ate with the tolerance of a man who prefers meat but who loves his wife enough to eat lettuce. The coconut cake was three layers of butter and sugar and the understanding that birthdays, at fifty-three, are not celebrations of youth but acknowledgments of endurance, and endurance deserves coconut cake.
Robert’s birthday called for steak — that was never in question — and these broiled beef kabobs were exactly the kind of dinner that felt both celebratory and unhurried, the way a fifty-third birthday dinner at home should feel. There was no restaurant reservation to keep, no guests to perform for, just the two of us and a meal that said: you have endured, and endurance deserves something good. I knew the moment I threaded the beef onto the skewers that this was the right choice for the night.
Broiled Beef Kabobs
Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 12 min | Total Time: 32 min | Servings: 4
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 lbs beef sirloin or top round, cut into 1 1/2-inch cubes
- 1 large red bell pepper, cut into 1 1/2-inch pieces
- 1 large green bell pepper, cut into 1 1/2-inch pieces
- 1 medium red onion, cut into wedges
- 8 oz cremini mushrooms, stems trimmed
- 3 tablespoons olive oil
- 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 teaspoon kosher salt
- 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
- 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
- 1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
Instructions
- Marinate the beef. In a large bowl, whisk together the olive oil, Worcestershire sauce, garlic, salt, pepper, smoked paprika, and oregano. Add the beef cubes and toss to coat. Let marinate at room temperature for at least 15 minutes, or refrigerate for up to 4 hours.
- Preheat the broiler. Set your oven broiler to high and position the rack about 4 to 5 inches from the heating element. Line a rimmed baking sheet with foil and place a wire rack on top if available.
- Thread the skewers. If using wooden skewers, soak them in water for 15 minutes beforehand. Thread the marinated beef cubes alternately with the bell pepper pieces, onion wedges, and mushrooms onto the skewers, leaving a small gap between each piece.
- Broil the kabobs. Arrange the skewers on the prepared baking sheet in a single layer. Broil for 5 to 6 minutes, then carefully turn the skewers and broil for another 4 to 6 minutes, until the beef is browned at the edges and cooked to your preferred doneness. For medium, aim for an internal temperature of 145°F.
- Rest and serve. Remove the kabobs from the oven and let rest for 3 minutes before serving. Serve over rice, alongside roasted potatoes, or with a crisp green salad.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 310 | Protein: 35g | Fat: 15g | Carbs: 8g | Fiber: 2g | Sodium: 480mg