By December. The month where Nashville hangs lights on everything and country music becomes exclusively about Jesus and snow and I start calculating whether I can afford a Christmas tree this year. (Answer: a small one. From the lot on Nolensville Pike. After December 15th, when they mark them down. This is the Mitchell family Christmas tree procurement strategy and it has never failed.)
Chloe's pre-K is doing a Christmas program. She's been assigned a speaking part — one line: "And the star shone over Bethlehem." She's been practicing it every day, every hour, in every room. In the bath: "And the star shone over Bethlehem." At dinner: "And the star shone over Bethlehem." At 6 AM while I'm trying to sleep: "MAMA, AND THE STAR SHONE OVER BETHLEHEM." She's got it. She had it after the first time. But she wants it perfect. She gets that from me. The perfectionism, not the volume. (Okay, also the volume.)
Jayden is twenty-one months old and has discovered Christmas lights. He stands at the window and stares at Mrs. Patterson's house (she decorates like Clark Griswold — every surface covered in lights, a blow-up Santa the size of a car, and a reindeer that moves its head and terrifies Jayden every time). He points and says, "LIGHT! LIGHT! LIGHT!" with the enthusiasm of a person discovering fire for the first time. Every light is new. Every light is a miracle. I used to feel that way about Christmas. I'm trying to feel it again through his eyes.
Finals week is here. My last final is Thursday. I've studied every night for two weeks — flashcards, practice exams, diagram drills. Tanisha and I quizzed each other on the phone at midnight on Tuesday because neither of us could sleep and both of us were convinced we'd forgotten everything. We hadn't. We know this. We know every tooth, every surface, every ligament. Our brains are full. Our anxiety is also full. They coexist, knowledge and fear, in the same skull, and you just go to the exam and let one win.
I made a batch of sugar cookies this week. Not for the kids — for my classmates. I brought them to class on the last day with a note that said, "We survived semester one. Eat a cookie." Tanisha made brownies. Between the two of us, we fed the whole cohort, and Dr. Whitfield took a cookie and said, "These are excellent. Did you make them from scratch?" I said, "From a mix." She said, "Honesty is important in this profession." And then she winked. Dr. Whitfield WINKED. The woman is human after all.
Christmas is coming. Finals are ending. The semester is almost over. I am almost through. One more exam between me and the end of the beginning, and the beginning of the beginning is over, and the middle begins, and I can see it now — the middle — and it looks like a dental chair and a white coat that fits and a paycheck that covers groceries without math. It looks like a future. My future. I'm reaching for it with both hands.
Those cookies weren’t from a mix — I just said that to be funny, and Dr. Whitfield’s wink told me she knew it too. The truth is I needed something to bake that felt like a small celebration, something warm and a little golden, which is exactly how the end of this semester feels. Brown sugar does something to a plain cookie that white sugar can’t quite manage — it adds depth, a little warmth, a little “I’ve been through something.” Here’s how I made them.
Brown Sugar Cookies
Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 12 min | Total Time: 27 min | Servings: 24 cookies
Ingredients
- 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
- 1 1/2 cups packed light brown sugar
- 2 large eggs
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 1/4 cup granulated sugar (for rolling)
Instructions
- Preheat the oven. Heat your oven to 350°F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside.
- Whisk the dry ingredients. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon until combined.
- Cream the butter and sugar. In a large bowl, beat the softened butter and brown sugar together with a hand mixer or stand mixer on medium-high speed for 2–3 minutes, until light and fluffy. Scrape down the sides of the bowl as needed.
- Add the eggs and vanilla. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then add the vanilla extract. Mix until smooth and fully combined.
- Combine wet and dry. Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture and stir or mix on low until a soft dough forms. Do not overmix.
- Roll and coat. Scoop the dough into balls about 1 1/2 tablespoons each. Roll each ball in the granulated sugar until fully coated, then place on the prepared baking sheets about 2 inches apart.
- Bake. Bake for 10–12 minutes, until the edges are just set and the centers still look slightly underdone. They will firm up as they cool — pull them early for a chewier cookie.
- Cool. Let the cookies cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack. Store in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 5 days.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 178 | Protein: 2g | Fat: 8g | Carbs: 25g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 112mg