Chili Cheese Soup

Martin Luther King Jr. Day — no school — and I used the day to cook. Not for a reason, not for an event, just to cook, because cooking is what I do when the day is free and the kitchen is warm and the winter is pressing against the windows like a face. I made Sylvia's mushroom barley soup — a soup I have not made in months, thick and earthy and nutritionally dense in the way of foods invented by people who needed to survive on what was available, which in the shtetl was mushrooms and barley and an onion and the determination to make something from it. The soup takes three hours. I do not rush it. Rushing mushroom barley soup is like rushing a prayer: you can do it, but you miss the point.

Rebecca called in the afternoon. She and Thomas have been together for nearly two years now, a milestone she mentioned casually, the way Rebecca mentions personal milestones — as data points rather than celebrations. I said nothing about marriage. I said nothing about the future. I said, "How is Thomas?" She said, "He's good. We're good." I said, "Wonderful." And then we talked about Chekhov for forty-five minutes, which is how Ruth and Rebecca Feldman express love: through Russian literature and the careful avoidance of direct emotional statements, a communication style that a therapist would find concerning and that I find both efficient and deeply satisfying.

Marvin was agitated on Monday evening — pacing, confused, unable to settle. These episodes are becoming more frequent and I am developing a repertoire of responses: soft music (the classical station, always the classical station), warm tea, speaking calmly, not contradicting, not correcting, just being present in the storm and waiting for it to pass. It passed at nine-fifteen. He sat down. He drank the tea. He said, "I'm sorry, Ruth." He said it clearly, with full awareness that something had happened and that it had been difficult, and the clarity of that apology broke my heart more than the agitation, because the apology meant he knew, on some level, that he was changing, and the knowing is its own kind of suffering, different from mine but no less real.

Sylvia’s mushroom barley soup carried that Monday. But soup does what soup does — it runs out, the week presses on, and Marvin still needs something warm at the table every evening. On the nights when three hours is not available to me, when I need something thick and grounding and honest but cannot afford the full meditation, I turn to this chili cheese soup: it has the same winter-weight to it, the same sense of something substantial being offered, and it comes together in far less time than a prayer, though I still do not rush it.

Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cook Time: 35 minutes | Total Time: 50 minutes | Servings: 6

Ingredients

1 lb ground beef
1 medium yellow onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 can (15 oz) kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 can (15 oz) diced tomatoes
1 can (10 oz) diced tomatoes with green chiles
2 cups beef broth
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
1/2 teaspoon salt, or to taste
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
4 oz cream cheese, cubed and softened
1 1/2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese, plus more for topping
Sour cream and sliced green onions, for serving

Instructions

Brown the beef. In a large heavy-bottomed pot or Dutch oven over medium-high heat, cook the ground beef, breaking it apart with a wooden spoon, until no pink remains, about 7–8 minutes. Drain excess fat.
Soften the aromatics. Add the diced onion to the pot and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened and translucent, about 4 minutes. Add the garlic and cook 1 minute more until fragrant.
Build the chili base. Stir in the chili powder, cumin, smoked paprika, salt, and pepper, coating the meat and onion evenly. Add the kidney beans, diced tomatoes, diced tomatoes with green chiles, and beef broth. Stir to combine.
Simmer. Bring the soup to a boil, then reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer uncovered for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the flavors have melded and the soup has thickened slightly.
Add the cheese. Reduce heat to low. Add the cubed cream cheese and stir gently until fully melted and incorporated. Add the shredded cheddar in two additions, stirring after each until smooth and creamy.
Taste and serve. Adjust seasoning as needed. Ladle into bowls and top with additional cheddar, a dollop of sour cream, and sliced green onions.

Nutrition (per serving)

Chili Cheese Soup — A Bowl of Warmth for the Long Days That Ask Everything of You