Colorful Chicken — Squash Soup — The Wednesday I Made Something I Know How to Do

Clay called on Thursday. One week after the IED. His voice was different. Not the difference I noticed at Basic — that was sharpening. This was something else. This was the sound of a voice that has lost something it can't name. Flat. Careful. Like he was speaking from behind glass.

"I'm okay," he said. The same two words soldiers have been saying since the first soldier lied about being okay. "I'm okay, Dad. I wasn't hurt. I'm physically fine." Physically. The qualifier that says everything by saying nothing. Physically fine. The body is intact. The rest is unspecified.

He didn't talk about the IED. He didn't talk about the two soldiers who died. He said their names once — Specialist Torres and PFC Brennan — and then he didn't say them again. He asked about the garden. He asked about Connie. He asked if I was still making soup beans on Monday. I said yes. He said "Good. That's good." And then he said "I gotta go" and the call was over and I sat with the phone in my hand and the silence in the kitchen and the understanding that my son is alive and not okay and there is nothing I can do about the not-okay from seven thousand miles away.

I cooked this week. I had to. The week without cooking was worse than the cooking — the empty stove was a surrender I couldn't sustain. So I cooked. I made soup beans on Monday because Monday is Monday. I made chicken and dumplings on Wednesday because the dumplings require attention and attention is the antidote to helplessness. I made cornbread every day because cornbread takes fifteen minutes and I needed fifteen minutes of doing something that I know how to do in a world where I don't know how to do the thing that matters most: reach through a phone and hold my son.

Betty called. She said Dale told her about the IED (I called Dale, Dale called Betty — the Hensley communication tree, which functions with the efficiency of a military chain of command except with more crying). Betty said "He came out. That's what matters." The same words. The same words Earl said to me after the mine collapse. The same words I said to Clay at Fort Campbell. The words that the Hensley family uses when the mountain tries to keep you and fails. He came out. That's what matters. He came out.

I told Clay I was still making soup beans on Monday, and that was true — but it was the Wednesday pot that unmade me and put me back together. I don’t have a recipe card for chicken and dumplings; I have my mother’s hands inside my hands when I make it, and some weeks that’s the only thing keeping mine steady. This Colorful Chicken — Squash Soup is what I made when the dumplings felt like too much and I still needed the broth, still needed the chicken pulling apart in the pot, still needed to stand at that stove and do something I know how to do. It’s not quite the same as what my mother made, but it’s warm, and it fills the kitchen with a smell that says someone is here, someone is cooking, someone is waiting.

Colorful Chicken ’N’ Squash Soup

Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 40 min | Total Time: 1 hr | Servings: 6

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 lbs boneless, skinless chicken thighs or breasts, cut into 1-inch pieces
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 medium yellow onion, diced
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 3 medium carrots, sliced into rounds
• 3 stalks celery, sliced
• 2 cups butternut squash, peeled and cubed (about 3/4-inch pieces)
• 1 cup zucchini, sliced into half-moons
• 1 can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes, undrained
• 6 cups low-sodium chicken broth
• 1 teaspoon dried thyme
• 1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary, crumbled
• 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
• Salt and black pepper to taste
• 2 tablespoons fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped (for serving)

Instructions

1. Brown the chicken. Heat olive oil in a large heavy-bottomed pot or Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add chicken pieces in a single layer, season with salt and pepper, and cook 4–5 minutes, turning once, until lightly golden. Transfer to a plate and set aside. (The chicken doesn’t need to be cooked through at this stage.)
2. Build the base. Reduce heat to medium. Add onion and celery to the same pot and cook, stirring occasionally, for 4–5 minutes until softened. Add garlic and cook 1 minute more until fragrant.
3. Add the vegetables. Stir in carrots, butternut squash, and smoked paprika. Cook for 2 minutes, letting the spice bloom into the vegetables.
4. Add broth and tomatoes. Pour in chicken broth and diced tomatoes with their juices. Stir in thyme and rosemary. Bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce to a steady simmer.
5. Return the chicken. Add the browned chicken back to the pot along with any accumulated juices. Simmer uncovered for 20 minutes, until the squash and carrots are tender and the chicken is cooked through.
6. Finish with zucchini. Stir in zucchini and cook 5 more minutes — just long enough to soften without losing its color. Taste and adjust salt and pepper.
7. Serve. Ladle into bowls and top with fresh parsley. Serve with cornbread or crusty bread alongside.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 248 | Protein: 28g | Fat: 8g | Carbs: 16g | Fiber: 3g | Sodium: 540mg