Crispy Zucchini Fritters — The Recipe That Turned Mrs. Delgado’s Contraband Zucchini Into Four Standing Ovations from Dad

I have discovered that zucchini is essentially free in late July. Not literally free — Aldi charges something, I think seventy-nine cents — but also Mrs. Delgado from down the block brought a bag of them to the door on Monday like she was delivering contraband. "My garden," she said, as if her garden were an affliction. "Take them or I'm throwing them out." I took six zucchini the size of my forearm. I now understand that gardeners in July are just people looking for someone to absorb their vegetables.

I made zucchini fritters — grated zucchini squeezed dry in a towel, mixed with egg, flour, garlic powder, parmesan, salt. Pan-fried in a little oil until golden. The trick is squeezing out the water. Zucchini is ninety percent water and ten percent the vegetable equivalent of a participation trophy, so if you skip the squeezing you get a soggy pancake instead of a crispy fritter, and life is too short for soggy pancakes. Dad ate four. He said, "These are good," which from Steve Kowalczyk is a standing ovation, a curtain call, and a lifetime achievement award.

I drove to DeKalb on Saturday to deal with fall registration. My advisor wants me to take an overload — five classes instead of four — to make up the credits I'll need if I want to graduate on time despite missing a semester. I haven't missed the semester yet. I'm talking about a hypothetical semester that I might need to miss if things go a certain way with certain people. I'm registering for five classes as insurance against a future I am building in my head from fear and probability. My advisor doesn't know about Jess. She just thinks I'm ambitious. I let her think that.

Jess and I went to Target on Sunday. Just Target — not therapy, not a hospital, not a hard conversation. Target. She needed shampoo. I needed dish towels. We walked through the aisles and she put a ridiculous lamp shaped like a flamingo in the cart and I put it back and she put it in again and I left it because some battles aren't worth winning and because Jess in a Target putting stupid things in a cart is a version of Jess I would pay any price to keep. We got Starbucks from the counter inside and sat in her car and she said, "This was normal." I said, "Yeah." Normal. The most beautiful, terrifying word in the language, because it means things are okay right now and says nothing about tomorrow.

That word — normal — was still sitting with me when I got home and stood in my kitchen not knowing what to do with my hands. I didn’t want anything complicated or heavy; I wanted something that required just enough attention to keep my brain quiet, something that felt like an ordinary Sunday thing to make. Zucchini fritters are exactly that — a little grating, a little squeezing out of water, a hot pan and something crispy at the end of it. Here’s how I made them.

Crispy Parmesan Zucchini Fritters

Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 15 min | Total Time: 30 min | Servings: 4 (about 12 fritters)

Ingredients

• 3 medium zucchini (about 1 1/2 lbs), grated
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more to taste
• 2 large eggs, beaten
• 1/3 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/3 cup finely grated parmesan cheese
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 2–3 tablespoons neutral oil (vegetable or avocado), for frying
• Sour cream or plain Greek yogurt, for serving (optional)

Instructions

1. Grate and salt the zucchini. Using the large holes of a box grater, grate the zucchini into a large bowl. Toss with 1 teaspoon salt and let sit for 10 minutes. This draws out moisture.
2. Squeeze out the water — this step is non-negotiable. Transfer the salted zucchini to a clean kitchen towel or several layers of cheesecloth. Gather the edges, twist tight, and squeeze firmly over the sink until no more liquid comes out. You’ll be surprised how much comes out. Keep squeezing. The drier the zucchini, the crispier the fritter.
3. Make the batter. Place the squeezed zucchini in a clean bowl. Add the beaten eggs, flour, parmesan, garlic powder, and black pepper. Stir until just combined. The mixture should hold together when pressed; if it seems wet, add flour one tablespoon at a time.
4. Heat the pan. Heat 2 tablespoons of oil in a large skillet (cast iron works beautifully) over medium-high heat until shimmering.
5. Fry the fritters. Working in batches, drop heaping tablespoons of batter into the pan and press gently to flatten into rounds about 1/2 inch thick. Do not crowd the pan. Cook 3–4 minutes per side, until deeply golden and crispy at the edges. Transfer to a paper towel-lined plate. Add oil between batches as needed.
6. Season and serve. Taste a fritter and add a pinch of salt if needed. Serve hot with sour cream or Greek yogurt on the side.

Nutrition (per serving, about 3 fritters)

Calories: 165 | Protein: 8g | Fat: 9g | Carbs: 14g | Fiber: 2g | Sodium: 390mg