The therapy is working. I can say this now with certainty, not just hope. Eight sessions in, Raj and I are different — not fixed, not perfect, but different. We're talking. We're fighting (productively). We're touching (the ten-minute homework has become natural, unconscious, the way it used to be). We're cooking together on Saturday nights.
Dr. Pham taught us something this week that I haven't stopped thinking about: "You don't need to understand each other perfectly. You need to understand that you can't understand each other perfectly, and be okay with that."
The gap between two people isn't a problem to solve. It's a space to inhabit. Raj will never fully understand what it's like to be the daughter watching her mother's mind erode. I will never fully understand what it's like to be the doctor watching patients die in a pandemic. We can't cross those gaps. But we can stand at the edges and reach.
I've lost twelve pounds from my peak. The midnight eating has mostly stopped — replaced by the walking, the therapy, the reconnection. I'm not at my pre-pandemic weight and may never be, and Dr. Pham has helped me see that the weight is not the issue. The eating was the symptom. The loneliness was the disease.
I'm writing the book every night now. Three chapters drafted. The pandemic chapter is the strongest — raw, immediate, written from the inside of the experience rather than looking back at it. Sarah Chen calls it "the beating heart of the book."
I made shakshuka for our Saturday couple dinner. The Ottolenghi recipe. Not Indian, not Tamil, not Amma's. Mine. A recipe I chose because I wanted it, not because it carries generational weight. Sometimes dinner doesn't need to be an inheritance. Sometimes dinner is just eggs in tomatoes with the person you're learning to love again.
The eggs were perfect. The bread was warm. Raj said, "This isn't Indian food."
"No."
"I like it."
"I know."
"Can you teach me to make it?"
"You can't even make chai."
"I can learn."
He can learn. We can both learn. That's what the therapy taught us: we can learn.
The shakshuka that night wasn’t really about the recipe — it was about what it meant to choose something just for myself, something without generations of expectation baked into it. These Dippy Eggs with Cheese Fried Toast Soldiers capture that same spirit: humble, warm, egg at the center, bread on the side for dipping and sharing. It’s the kind of dish where you slow down, where you pull apart the toast together, where someone across the table says can you teach me to make this? and you realize that’s the whole point. Make this on a Saturday night when the conversation matters more than the cooking.
Dippy Eggs with Cheese Fried Toast Soldiers
Prep Time: 5 minutes | Cook Time: 10 minutes | Total Time: 15 minutes | Servings: 2
Ingredients
- 4 large eggs
- 4 slices thick-cut bread (sourdough or brioche work well)
- 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
- 1/2 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
- 1/4 teaspoon flaky sea salt
- 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
- 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder (optional)
- Fresh chives or flat-leaf parsley, chopped, for garnish
Instructions
- Soft-boil the eggs. Bring a small saucepan of water to a gentle boil. Lower the eggs in carefully and cook for exactly 6 minutes for a fully runny yolk, or 7 minutes for a slightly jammy center. Transfer immediately to an ice bath for 1 minute, then peel and place in egg cups or small bowls.
- Make the cheese toast soldiers. Butter both sides of each bread slice generously. Heat a skillet or griddle over medium heat. Add the bread slices and cook for 2 minutes per side until deeply golden.
- Add the cheese. In the last 30 seconds of cooking, scatter the shredded cheddar evenly over the tops of the toast slices. Cover the pan briefly with a lid or foil and let the cheese melt fully, about 30–45 seconds.
- Cut into soldiers. Remove the toast from the pan and slice each piece into 3 long strips (the “soldiers”). Season lightly with garlic powder and a pinch of pepper if desired.
- Season and serve. Slice the tops off the soft-boiled eggs or crack them open. Season with flaky salt and black pepper. Arrange the cheese toast soldiers alongside for dipping. Garnish with fresh chives or parsley and serve immediately while the yolks are still warm and runny.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 420 | Protein: 21g | Fat: 24g | Carbs: 30g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 540mg
About the cook who shared this
Priya Krishnamurthy
Week 229 of Priya’s 30-year story
· Edison, New Jersey
Priya is a pharmacist, wife, and mom of two in Edison, New Jersey — the town she grew up in, surrounded by the sights and smells of her mother's South Indian kitchen. These days, she splits her time between the hospital pharmacy, school pickups, and her own kitchen, where she cooks nearly every night. Her style is a blend of the Tamil recipes her mother taught her and the American comfort food her kids actually want to eat. She writes about the beautiful mess of balancing two cultures on one plate — and she wants you to know that ordering pizza is also an act of love.
