Easy Chocolate Chip Snack Cake

August 8th. I am thirty-seven. Miya is six. We blow out candles on the same cake — chocolate, because Miya chose and I defer to the birthday girl on cake decisions, democracy in action. The party was at the park: ten children, bento boxes, chaos. The bento boxes were received with a mix of enthusiasm (the rice balls), confusion (the tamagoyaki — "What IS this?" asked Jake, who has been asking this question for a year and still cannot identify a Japanese rolled omelet), and universal approval (the edamame, which is apparently the one Japanese food that transcends all cultural barriers for American six-year-olds).

Brian came to the party. He brought a present (a book about cooking, for Miya, which was either thoughtful or ironic and I choose thoughtful). He and I stood on the same side of the picnic table and co-parented with the ease of two people who have been practicing for two years and have gotten good at it. Good, not great. Good is enough. Good is the standard for divorced co-parents. Great is for people who weren't married to each other. We were married to each other. Good is a triumph.

I wrote my birthday blog post — about being thirty-seven and finally, finally comfortable. Not happy in the ecstatic, cinematic way that happiness is sold to women. Comfortable in the embodied, daily way that actual living feels: the miso soup is good, the apartment is mine, the daughter is thriving, the writing is the career, the yoga is the practice, the father is sick but present, the mother is loud but loving, the grandmother is dead but everywhere, everywhere, in every bowl and every recipe card and every sentence I write. Thirty-seven and comfortable. The sentence took thirty-seven years to earn. The earning was the living. The living was the cooking. The cooking was the love.

Miya made me a card that says, "Happy Birthday Mama. 37 is a lot." It is a lot. She is right. Thirty-seven is a lot of mornings and a lot of miso soups and a lot of therapy sessions and a lot of yoga mats and a lot of words typed and a lot of onigiri shaped and a lot of tears cried and a lot of breath breathed. A lot. She is six. Six is also a lot. All numbers are a lot when they represent the days you've been alive and breathing and cooking and holding on.

Miya chose chocolate — she always chooses chocolate — and I have long since stopped negotiating with a six-year-old about birthday cake. This easy chocolate chip snack cake was what we brought to the park alongside the bento boxes: no frosting drama, no tiered layers to transport, just a sturdy, honest cake that cuts into squares and survives ten children and a picnic table. It is the kind of recipe my grandmother would have called “sensible,” and I mean that as the highest praise. Thirty-seven years in, sensible and delicious are the same thing to me.

Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 30 minutes | Total Time: 40 minutes | Servings: 16 squares

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup buttermilk
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips, divided

Instructions

Preheat and prepare. Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease a 9x13-inch baking pan lightly with cooking spray or butter.
Mix the dry ingredients. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt until evenly combined.
Combine the wet ingredients. In a separate bowl or large measuring cup, whisk together the buttermilk, vegetable oil, eggs, and vanilla extract.
Make the batter. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir gently until just combined — a few small lumps are fine. Fold in 3/4 cup of the chocolate chips.
Pan and top. Pour the batter evenly into the prepared pan. Scatter the remaining 1/4 cup chocolate chips over the top.
Bake. Bake for 28—32 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with just a few moist crumbs. Do not overbake.
Cool and cut. Let the cake cool in the pan for at least 15 minutes before cutting into squares. It travels and packs well once fully cooled.

Nutrition (per serving)

Easy Chocolate Chip Snack Cake — The One Miya Chose