By New Year's Day, 2018. Seven days clean from the slip on Christmas Eve. I've been going back through my head trying to figure out the specific mechanism — what made that night different from the hundred nights I'd held it together. I think it was the quiet. Christmas Eve is quiet in a particular way and the quiet had space in it that the whiskey filled before I understood what was happening. That's not an excuse. It's a map of what happened, so I can navigate around it next time.
Gary says most slips happen when the person is actually doing well, not when they're struggling. He says, "When you're struggling, you're watching. When you're comfortable, you stop watching." I don't fully believe this — I was struggling on Christmas Eve, not comfortable — but I understand the principle. Vigilance is not something you earn the right to stop. It's permanent.
I went to the Thursday AA meeting the day after Christmas — drove to Billings in the dark in twenty-below temperature, which should count for something. I sat in the back. I didn't share. But I went. And I went again on Thursday. And I'm going next Thursday. The meetings are the structure and structure is what I have instead of certainty.
Mom made black-eyed peas for New Year's Day. She learned it from a woman in Alabama when she was nursing at a hospital down south for a summer in the 1970s and she's made it every January 1st since. Peas with ham hock and onion and hot sauce, served over rice, for luck in the new year. I ate a full bowl. We probably need the luck.
New year. New day. I don't make resolutions. I just keep going.
Mom’s black-eyed peas were her recipe, and I’m not going to try to reconstruct them here — they belong to her and to Alabama and to a tradition I’m just grateful to have been handed a bowl of. But the spirit of it — something warm, something with beans, something that fills you up and sets you straight for the day ahead — led me to start batch-cooking these freezer breakfast burritos the first week of January. Black beans instead of black-eyed peas, sweet potato instead of ham hock, but the same basic idea: build something solid you can reach for when the morning is dark and cold and you need a reason to keep moving.
Freezer Breakfast Burritos with Sweet Potato Hash and Black Beans
Prep Time: 20 minutes | Cook Time: 25 minutes | Total Time: 45 minutes | Servings: 8 burritos
Ingredients
- 8 large flour tortillas (10-inch)
- 1 large sweet potato, peeled and diced small (about 2 cups)
- 1 can (15 oz) black beans, drained and rinsed
- 8 large eggs
- 1/2 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
- 1/2 medium yellow onion, diced
- 1 red bell pepper, diced
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
- 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
- 1/2 teaspoon chili powder
- 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more to taste
- 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
- 2 tablespoons olive oil, divided
- Hot sauce, for serving (optional)
Instructions
- Cook the sweet potato hash. Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the diced sweet potato, onion, and bell pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, for 10–12 minutes until the sweet potato is tender and edges are lightly browned. Add the garlic, smoked paprika, cumin, chili powder, salt, and pepper. Stir and cook 1 more minute. Transfer to a large bowl.
- Warm the black beans. Add the black beans to the same skillet over medium heat. Cook for 2–3 minutes, stirring occasionally, until warmed through. Season lightly with salt. Add to the bowl with the sweet potato hash and stir to combine.
- Scramble the eggs. Wipe the skillet clean and return to medium-low heat with the remaining 1 tablespoon olive oil. Whisk the eggs with a pinch of salt and pepper, then pour into the skillet. Cook slowly, folding gently with a spatula, until just set but still slightly soft. Remove from heat — residual heat will finish them. Do not overcook.
- Warm the tortillas. Wrap the tortillas in a damp paper towel and microwave for 30–45 seconds to make them pliable and easy to roll without cracking.
- Assemble the burritos. Lay a tortilla flat. Spoon a generous 1/3 cup of the sweet potato and black bean mixture down the center, followed by a scoop of scrambled egg and a sprinkle of shredded cheddar. Fold in the sides and roll tightly from the bottom up. Repeat with remaining tortillas and filling.
- Freeze for later. Let assembled burritos cool completely, then wrap each one individually in aluminum foil. Place wrapped burritos in a zip-top freezer bag or airtight container and freeze for up to 3 months.
- Reheat from frozen. Remove foil and wrap the burrito in a damp paper towel. Microwave on high for 2 to 2 1/2 minutes, flipping halfway through, until heated all the way to the center. Alternatively, reheat in a 350°F oven (still in foil) for 25–30 minutes.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 380 | Protein: 17g | Fat: 13g | Carbs: 48g | Fiber: 7g | Sodium: 520mg