By End of August and the summer is performing its slow fade — the evenings cooling, the light going gold, the farmers market transitioning from the frenzy of peak summer to the gentler abundance of early fall. The blackberries are everywhere in Portland — free, wild, growing on every fence and in every vacant lot, the fruit that belongs to no one and everyone. I picked two pounds from a hedge near our apartment with Miya on my hip and she ate more than she collected, her face stained purple, her fingers stained purple, a tiny Bacchus of the Pacific Northwest.
I made blackberry mochi — fresh mochi wrapped around a whole blackberry with a little sweetened bean paste. The blackberry inside the mochi is a surprise — you bite through the soft, chewy exterior and hit the tart, juicy fruit and the contrast is everything. Sweet and tart. Soft and juicy. Expected and surprising. I am building a repertoire of fruit mochi and each one teaches me something about texture and contrast and the joy of hiding something beautiful inside something plain.
Second rejection arrived. One magazine left. I am not calculating odds because anxiety is already doing the math and the math is not kind. But the essay exists. Fumiko's kitchen exists in words, on paper, regardless of whether a magazine publishes it. The blog readers have read versions of it. The writing instructor validated it. The essay is real. The validation is real. The rejection is real too, but it is the smallest real thing in a life full of larger real things, and I am choosing scale, the way the eclipse taught me. Small problems. Vast universe. Make mochi. Move on.
Brian and I went to a concert in Pioneer Square — free, outdoor, a band playing something folksy and forgettable. We sat on the grass with Miya between us and she clapped off-beat and Brian laughed and I laughed and the summer evening did what summer evenings do in Portland: it made everything feel temporary and precious and good. Not "fine." Good. There is a difference, and tonight I felt the difference, and I am writing it down because the good moments are the ones the anxiety tries to erase, and writing them is my defense against erasure.
The blackberries were already the star — wild, free, earned by two pairs of purple-stained hands on a warm August afternoon — and they deserved a companion that wouldn’t compete with them. This fruit dip is exactly that: creamy and sweet with just enough tang to mirror the blackberry’s own tartness, the kind of simple thing you can pull together in five minutes while a toddler circles your ankles. I made a bowl of it to go alongside the leftover berries we didn’t stuff into mochi, and Brian and I ate it on the couch after Miya was asleep, the last of the summer evening still warm through the window — a small, good thing to end a day full of them.
Fruit Dip
Prep Time: 5 minutes | Cook Time: 0 minutes | Total Time: 5 minutes | Servings: 8
Ingredients
- 8 oz cream cheese, softened to room temperature
- 7 oz marshmallow cream (marshmallow fluff)
- 1/4 cup sour cream
- 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
- 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
- Pinch of fine sea salt
- Fresh blackberries, sliced strawberries, and other summer fruit for serving
Instructions
- Soften the cream cheese. Let the cream cheese sit at room temperature for at least 30 minutes before starting. This is the only step that requires patience — everything else takes seconds.
- Beat until smooth. Using a hand mixer or stand mixer on medium speed, beat the cream cheese until it is completely smooth and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Scrape down the sides of the bowl.
- Add the remaining ingredients. Add the marshmallow cream, sour cream, vanilla extract, lemon juice, and salt. Beat on medium-low until fully combined and creamy, about 1 minute. Do not overmix.
- Taste and adjust. Taste the dip. If you want more tang, add a small additional squeeze of lemon. If you want it a touch sweeter, a drizzle of honey blends in easily.
- Serve or chill. Serve immediately at room temperature alongside fresh blackberries and summer fruit, or cover and refrigerate for up to 3 days. The dip thickens slightly when chilled — let it sit out for 10 minutes before serving from the fridge.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 165 | Protein: 2g | Fat: 10g | Carbs: 18g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 105mg