By Last day of February and the anniversary of Marcus's death is close now — April, the specific week in April, and the approach of it always changes how time feels in March. I have learned to expect this, which doesn't exactly make it easier but it makes it less alarming. Every year the last week of February I feel March begin to gather, and every year I think: I know what this is. I have been here before. I can move through it again.
I made a Sunday pot roast this week with no particular occasion — just because it was cold and the house needed that smell, that long low warmth of a roast doing its slow work in the oven. There is nothing that anchors me more firmly in the present tense than a pot roast. You cannot make one in a hurry. You put it in and you wait, and while you wait the house fills with a smell that is fundamentally about patience, about trusting that good things take time and will arrive when they are ready.
I have been thinking about what Destiny said last week — that she just needed me to know about the exam, that she wasn't asking for advice, just presence. I think I have been learning this over the last four years: how to be present with people who are carrying something heavy without immediately trying to lift it for them. You can't always lift it. Sometimes all you can do is stand near enough that they know they're not alone with the weight. I think of this when I'm at Bernice's Table, putting a plate in someone's hands and looking at them directly when I say welcome, how are you. I'm not fixing anything. I'm just making sure they know someone sees them.
February done. March tomorrow. Destiny's exam in April. The tomatoes going in. The Memphis trip. And in all of it, underneath all of it: this quiet practice of continuing, which Marcus told me to do, which I have done, which I will keep doing.
The pot roast I made this week was the anchor — the thing that held me in the present while March gathered at the edges — but the recipe I keep coming back to when I want that same spirit of patience and warmth in less time is this hash brown-topped steak. It has that same quality of something honest and filling, something that asks you to stand at the stove and tend to it, which is its own kind of practice. And there’s something about a good crust on a steak, golden potatoes pressed right on top of it, that feels like comfort you can hold in both hands — exactly what I needed as February closed out and March began to arrive.
Hash Brown-Topped Steak
Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 25 min | Total Time: 40 min | Servings: 4
Ingredients
- 4 beef ribeye or sirloin steaks (about 6 oz each, 3/4 inch thick)
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
- 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
- 2 tablespoons vegetable oil, divided
- 2 cups frozen shredded hash browns, thawed
- 1/4 cup finely chopped onion
- 1/4 teaspoon onion powder
- 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
- 2 tablespoons butter
- Fresh parsley, chopped, for garnish
Instructions
- Season the steaks. Pat steaks dry with paper towels. Combine salt, pepper, and garlic powder; rub evenly over both sides of each steak. Let rest at room temperature for 10 minutes.
- Prepare the hash brown topping. In a bowl, combine thawed hash browns, chopped onion, onion powder, and a pinch of salt and pepper. Mix well and press mixture into 4 portions roughly the size of each steak.
- Cook the hash brown patties. Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a large oven-safe skillet over medium-high heat. Add hash brown portions and press gently with a spatula. Cook 4—5 minutes per side until golden and crisp. Remove and set aside. Wipe skillet clean.
- Sear the steaks. Add remaining 1 tablespoon oil and the butter to the skillet over high heat. When butter foams, add steaks and sear 3—4 minutes per side for medium-rare, or to your preferred doneness.
- Top and finish. Remove skillet from heat. Place one hash brown patty on top of each steak. Sprinkle shredded cheddar over the hash browns. Tent loosely with foil and let rest 5 minutes, or slide under the broiler for 1—2 minutes to melt the cheese.
- Serve. Plate the steaks with the hash brown topping intact. Garnish with chopped fresh parsley and serve immediately.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 520 | Protein: 42g | Fat: 31g | Carbs: 18g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 580mg