Homemade Larabars: Apricot Almond Bars

The last week of school before winter break. My eleventh graders are vibrating with the particular energy of teenagers who have correctly identified that the teacher is not going to introduce new material four days before a two-week vacation. I gave them the last third of The Great Gatsby to finish over the break and assigned a response journal, which they received with the theatrical suffering that juniors reserve for assignments that require reading. I have been assigning Gatsby in December for twenty-five years. The theatrical suffering is part of the curriculum.

I find, this year, that standing in front of thirty teenagers and talking about literature is one of the places where I feel most like myself. The classroom is a room where I know exactly who I am and what I am doing. The disease does not enter the classroom. Whatever is happening in my house, in my marriage, in the future that I cannot see clearly yet — none of it follows me through that door. For forty-three minutes I am a teacher. I am excellent at being a teacher. The rest of life is harder to be excellent at.

Marvin came to my school holiday party this year — the faculty gathering, which I attend mostly out of solidarity and leave as soon as is polite. He was charming. He told my colleague Barbara's husband an accountant joke that went on for three minutes and landed perfectly. He ate seven of the gingerbread cookies that the math department provides every year, and he remembered that the math department provides the gingerbread and the English department provides the rugelach (mine, this year as every year, and they were better than the gingerbread, but that is an objective fact, not a competition).

I made rugelach for the party — the ones with apricot jam and walnuts and cinnamon sugar, my mother's recipe, the ones that require rolling and cutting and careful crimping and two hours of focused kitchen time. I needed the two hours. I needed the crimping. There is a meditative quality to rugelach that no one warns you about: you have to pay attention to your hands, which means you cannot pay attention to the catastrophizing mind. The rugelach were, as I said, excellent. Marvin ate three before we left the house. He did not forget we were going to the party. He did not forget his coat. He was fine. He was fine. He was fine.

The apricot jam in my rugelach is what I keep coming back to — the way it anchors everything else, the cinnamon and the walnuts and the butter, gives them something to cling to. On the days between parties and obligations and quiet watchfulness, I want that same flavor without the two hours of focused crimping, and these bars give it to me honestly: apricots and almonds, nothing hidden, nothing complicated. Sometimes the simplest version of the thing you need is still the thing you need.

Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 0 min | Total Time: 1 hr 15 min (includes chilling) | Servings: 12 bars

Ingredients

1 cup raw almonds
1 1/2 cups dried apricots (unsulfured preferred), roughly chopped
1/2 cup Medjool dates, pitted (about 5–6 dates)
1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 tablespoon water, only if needed to help mixture come together

Instructions

Process the almonds. Add the raw almonds to the bowl of a food processor fitted with the blade attachment. Pulse 10–12 times until the almonds are roughly chopped into small, uneven pieces — you want texture, not almond flour.
Add the fruit. Add the chopped dried apricots, pitted dates, sea salt, and vanilla extract to the processor with the almonds. Process continuously for 60–90 seconds, stopping once to scrape down the sides, until the mixture clumps together when pressed between your fingers. If it seems dry, add water one teaspoon at a time and pulse again.
Press into the pan. Line an 8x8-inch baking pan with parchment paper, leaving an overhang on two sides. Transfer the mixture into the pan and press it firmly and evenly with your hands or the bottom of a flat measuring cup until the layer is uniform, about 1/2 inch thick.
Chill. Refrigerate uncovered for at least 1 hour until firm enough to slice cleanly. For cleaner cuts, freeze for 20 minutes instead.
Cut and store. Lift the slab from the pan using the parchment overhang. Cut into 12 bars (3 rows by 4 rows). Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks, or wrap individually and freeze for up to 2 months.

Nutrition (per serving)

Homemade Larabars: Apricot Almond Bars — The Apricot Stays With You