Lucky Bean Soup — The Batch I Made When the House Went Quiet

He's gone.

Clay left this morning. Monday, July 9, 2018, at five o'clock in the morning. I drove him to the recruiter's office on Nicholasville Road. The parking lot was dark. Two other recruits were there with their families — a skinny kid with glasses and his mother, a tall girl with braids and her father. We stood in the parking lot like refugees at a border crossing, holding our children's bags and our composure with equal desperation.

Clay wore jeans and a t-shirt and the boots I gave him for Christmas. He had a duffle bag over one shoulder and the ziplock of recipe cards in the front pocket. He hugged Connie first. She held on. She held on the way you hold on to a rope over a cliff — total commitment, full grip, the understanding that letting go means falling. Clay let her hold on. He didn't rush her. When she finally let go, she said "Call when you can" and her voice broke on "can" and that break was the sound of twenty-six years of motherhood compressing into one syllable.

Then he turned to me. He hugged me. The first real hug in — I don't know. Years. He hugged me the way he hugged me at Fort Benning's gate when he shipped to Basic the first time, except this was the first time. This was the real first time. He held on and I held on and he said "I'll be okay, Dad" and I said "You'd better be" and then I said what Earl said when I walked out of the mine: "You came out. That's all that matters." Except I said it before he went in, which is a different kind of prayer — not gratitude for survival but a demand for it.

He got on the bus. The bus pulled away. Connie and I stood in the parking lot and watched the taillights disappear down Nicholasville Road at five-seventeen in the morning in July and the sun wasn't up yet but the sky was getting lighter and the world was doing what the world does — continuing — without any acknowledgment that my son was on a bus to Georgia and my house was empty for the first time in eighteen years.

I drove home. Connie didn't talk. I didn't talk. We pulled into the driveway and sat in the truck for ten minutes. Then Connie said "Make me soup beans." It was Monday. Monday is soup beans. The world may end but Monday is still soup beans. I went inside and soaked the beans and put them on the stove and the kitchen smelled like pinto beans and ham hock and the specific combination of grief and routine that has kept Hensley women going for a hundred years. Connie ate a bowl. I ate a bowl. The house was quiet. The house was so quiet.

Connie didn’t ask for anything complicated. She asked for soup beans, because that’s what you ask for when the complicated thing has already happened. This Lucky Bean Soup is as close as I can put it to paper — the ham hock, the long simmer, the way the broth turns a color that means something’s been cooked with intention. I’ve made this pot every Monday for longer than Clay has been alive, but I’ve never paid attention to it the way I paid attention to it that morning, watching the steam come off the pot in a kitchen that was too quiet, thinking that ritual is just survival with better ingredients.

Lucky Bean Soup

Prep Time: 15 min (plus overnight soak) | Cook Time: 2 hrs 30 min | Total Time: 2 hrs 45 min | Servings: 8

Ingredients

• 1 lb dried pinto beans (or mixed dried beans)
• 1 smoked ham hock (about 1 lb)
• 1 medium yellow onion, diced
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 stalks celery, sliced
• 2 medium carrots, chopped
• 6 cups low-sodium chicken broth
• 2 cups water
• 1 can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes, undrained
• 1 tsp salt, or to taste
• 1/2 tsp black pepper
• 1/2 tsp dried thyme
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 tbsp apple cider vinegar (added at the end)

Instructions

1. Soak the beans. Place dried beans in a large bowl and cover with 3 inches of cold water. Soak overnight, or at least 8 hours. Drain and rinse well before using.
2. Build the base. In a large heavy pot or Dutch oven over medium heat, combine the soaked beans, ham hock, onion, garlic, celery, carrots, chicken broth, and water. Stir to combine.
3. Add seasoning. Stir in diced tomatoes, salt, pepper, thyme, and bay leaf. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat, skimming any foam that rises to the surface.
4. Simmer low and slow. Reduce heat to low, cover partially, and simmer for 2 to 2 1/2 hours, stirring occasionally, until beans are completely tender and the broth has thickened and turned deep amber. Add water 1/2 cup at a time if the pot gets too thick.
5. Finish the ham. Remove the ham hock and set on a cutting board. When cool enough to handle, pull the meat from the bone, discard skin and bone, and stir the shredded meat back into the pot.
6. Adjust and serve. Remove bay leaf. Stir in apple cider vinegar. Taste and adjust salt and pepper. Serve hot in deep bowls with cornbread or a thick slice of white bread alongside.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 290 | Protein: 19g | Fat: 5g | Carbs: 41g | Fiber: 13g | Sodium: 670mg