Mexican Chocolate Sugar Crisps

July, and the baby is coming. Jenny went into labor on Tuesday, July 7th, at 6 AM. Miguel Jr. called from the hospital — from outside the hospital, because he was pacing the parking lot while Jenny was inside being admitted, and the pacing was the only thing he could do with the adrenaline that fatherhood-for-the-second-time produces. He said, Mami, it's happening. I said, I know. I'm ready. He said, You can't come in. I said, I know. I'm still ready.

I drove to the hospital. Not my hospital — Jenny delivers at a different hospital in West Hartford — but a hospital, and I sat in the parking lot in my car with Eduardo and we waited. We waited for six hours. Eduardo brought a thermos of coffee. I brought a container of flan because I always bring food and because the flan was for Jenny, for after, for when the baby was born and the eating could resume and the first thing Jenny would eat after delivering my granddaughter would be something I made with my hands.

Isabella Luz Delgado-Ortiz was born at 1:47 PM on July 7, 2020. Seven pounds, four ounces. Named for Eduardo's mother (Isabella) and for my mother (Luz). Miguel Jr. called from the delivery room. He was crying. He said, She's beautiful. She's perfect. She has your nose. I said, Which nose — mine or Mami's? He said, Both. I said, Good. That is a strong nose. That is a Delgado nose.

I met her through the car window. Miguel Jr. brought her out — wrapped in a hospital blanket, wearing a pink hat, eyes closed, impossibly small and impossibly perfect — and held her up to the car window and I looked at my granddaughter through glass and I pressed my hand against the window and she was on the other side, on the other side of glass, on the other side of a pandemic, on the other side of everything, and I said, Hola, mi amor. Bienvenida. Welcome. And then I cried in the car all the way home while Eduardo drove and said nothing because there was nothing to say that the tears were not already saying.

The flan I brought that day was for Jenny — it was always for Jenny — and I never did get to hand it to her myself. Eduardo and I drove it home in the back seat, still in its container, and we ate it that night at the kitchen table and did not say much, because the day had already said everything. But when I want to bring something of myself to a celebration I cannot fully enter, something made with my hands and tasting of home and chocolate and a little heat, I make these Mexican Chocolate Sugar Crisps. They travel well. They keep. They taste like something a grandmother made on purpose, for someone she loves on the other side of whatever glass is between them.

Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 12 min | Total Time: 32 min | Servings: 36 crisps

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon fine salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cup granulated sugar, plus more for rolling
1 large egg
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
2 tablespoons whole milk
1/4 cup turbinado or coarse sugar (for rolling)
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon (for rolling)

Instructions

Preheat oven. Heat your oven to 350°F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside.
Mix dry ingredients. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, cinnamon, cayenne, salt, and baking soda until evenly combined.
Cream butter and sugar. In a large bowl, beat the softened butter and granulated sugar together with a hand mixer or stand mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy, about 2–3 minutes.
Add wet ingredients. Beat in the egg and vanilla extract until fully incorporated. Add the milk and mix until smooth.
Combine. Add the dry ingredients to the butter mixture and stir with a wooden spoon or rubber spatula until a soft dough forms. Do not overmix.
Prepare rolling sugar. In a small shallow bowl, stir together the turbinado sugar and the remaining 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon.
Shape cookies. Scoop the dough into tablespoon-sized balls. Roll each ball first between your palms until smooth, then roll it in the cinnamon sugar to coat all sides.
Bake. Place the dough balls 2 inches apart on the prepared baking sheets. Use the bottom of a glass to press each ball into a thin crisp, about 1/4 inch thick. Bake for 10–12 minutes, until the edges are set and the tops look dry. They will firm up as they cool.
Cool. Let the crisps cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Store in an airtight container at room temperature for up to one week — or pack them in a container and bring them somewhere that matters.

Nutrition (per serving)

Mexican Chocolate Sugar Crisps — The Sweet I Carried to the Parking Lot