By My birthday. Forty-three. August 14, 2020, a pandemic birthday in Nebraska, which is a sentence that would have been absurd eighteen months ago and is now just a Tuesday. Dave made me breakfast — coffee and toast, slightly burnt, the tradition unbroken by global catastrophe. I find this reassuring. The virus cannot reach the toast. The toast is burnt and the coffee is perfect and the ritual is intact, and the rituals are the tent poles that hold up the circus of our life, and the circus is still standing, and the toast is the proof.
The kids gave me cards. Justin's said 'Happy Birthday Mom, 43 is old,' which is the first joke Justin has ever written on a birthday card, and the joke is the event — Justin making a joke is Justin allowing himself lightness, and the lightness is rarer than any gift in any store. I laughed. He saw me laugh. The seeing was his gift to himself, the proof that he can make his mother laugh, that his words have power over something other than pain.
I did not drive on my birthday. I stayed home. I sat on the back porch with coffee and watched the morning light move across the yard and thought about forty-three and about Darla at thirty-two and about the eleven years between them, eleven years of birthdays Darla did not get, and I held the number and the coffee and the morning and the grief, and the holding was the prayer, and the prayer was: thank you for the toast and the cards and the joke and the forty-three and the eleven and the everything.
I made my own birthday dinner — why not? I made chicken fried steak because it is my favorite and it is my birthday and I am not going to wait for someone to make it for me when I can make it better than anyone who would try. Dave ate two. Tyler ate three. The cream gravy covered everything, as always, as ever, and the covering was the birthday party, and the party was perfect.
When you’ve spent the morning holding grief and gratitude in the same two hands, the only thing left to do is feed the people who showed up — and feed them well. I wanted something that filled the house with a smell that said we are still here, something that took time and rewarded it, something that Tyler could eat three plates of without apology. Mile-High Shredded Beef is exactly that kind of recipe: low effort in the moment, high payoff at the table, and generous enough that the leftovers feel like a second birthday.
Mile-High Shredded Beef for a Crowd
Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 8 hrs | Total Time: 8 hrs 20 min | Servings: 10–12
Ingredients
- 4 to 5 lbs boneless beef chuck roast
- 1 tablespoon kosher salt
- 1 teaspoon black pepper
- 1 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1 teaspoon onion powder
- 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
- 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
- 1 large yellow onion, sliced
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 cup beef broth
- 1/2 cup Worcestershire sauce
- 2 tablespoons tomato paste
- 1 tablespoon brown sugar
- 1 teaspoon dried thyme
- 1 teaspoon dried rosemary
- 2 bay leaves
- Hoagie rolls or slider buns, for serving
Instructions
- Season the roast. Pat the beef dry with paper towels. Mix together the salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, and smoked paprika, then rub the blend all over the roast on every side.
- Sear for color. Heat the vegetable oil in a large skillet or Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Sear the roast 3–4 minutes per side until deeply browned. Don’t rush this — the crust is the flavor.
- Build the base. Transfer the seared roast to a slow cooker. In the same skillet, sauté the sliced onion over medium heat for 3–4 minutes until softened. Add the minced garlic and cook 1 minute more. Stir in the beef broth, Worcestershire sauce, tomato paste, brown sugar, thyme, and rosemary, scraping up any browned bits from the bottom of the pan.
- Slow cook. Pour the sauce over the roast in the slow cooker. Tuck in the bay leaves. Cover and cook on LOW for 8 hours (or HIGH for 4–5 hours), until the beef is fall-apart tender.
- Shred and finish. Remove the bay leaves. Transfer the roast to a cutting board and shred with two forks, discarding any large fat pieces. Return the shredded beef to the slow cooker and stir to coat in the juices. Taste and adjust salt if needed.
- Pile it high. Heap the shredded beef onto hoagie rolls or slider buns. Spoon extra braising juices over the top. Serve immediately — and don’t be surprised when someone goes back for thirds.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 390 | Protein: 38g | Fat: 22g | Carbs: 8g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 620mg