Perfect Holiday Ham -- The Last Thing Mama Asked Me to Make

My mother died on Easter Sunday.

April 16, 2017. She was sixty years old. She died in the living room of the brick ranch house in Cascade Heights, in the hospital bed that faced the kitchen, with the smell of Easter ham in the air because I had started it that morning. She asked me to. At 6 AM, her eyes barely open, her voice a whisper: "Start the ham, baby. Don't stop cooking because of me." Those were her last words. Don't stop cooking because of me.

I started the ham. I studded it with cloves and pineapple rings and I put it in the oven and I set the timer and then I went to her bed and sat down. Curtis was on her right side, holding her hand. I was on her left. Darnell was in the doorway. Andre was on the couch. Miss Ernestine was in the armchair, brought early from the facility because she said, "I want to be there." Marcus and Jasmine were upstairs — I'd told them to sleep. I couldn't protect them from everything, but I could protect them from the sound of the machines.

She slipped away at 9:37 AM. Quietly. The way the hospice nurse said it might happen — not dramatic, not sudden, just a gradual letting go, like a boat untying from a dock and drifting. Her breathing slowed. Then it stopped. Curtis made a sound I have never heard a man make — low, guttural, the sound of fifty years of love being torn. I held her hand. It was still warm. I held it and I said, "Thank you, Mama. Thank you for everything." I don't know if she heard me. I don't know if it matters. I said it.

The ham timer went off at 10:15. I got up from my mother's bed and I went to the kitchen and I took the ham out of the oven. It was perfect. Golden, glistening, the pineapple caramelized, the cloves fragrant. I set it on the counter and I looked at it and I thought: she told me not to stop. She told me. So I didn't stop. I will never stop.

We ate Easter dinner. All of us. Around the table, with an empty chair where Mama should have been, eating the ham she asked me to make. Nobody tasted it. Nobody cared what it tasted like. But we ate it because she would have wanted us to eat it. Because the table was set and the food was warm and stopping would have been a different kind of death — the death of the thing she built, the thing she gave us, the practice of sitting down together and being fed. We ate because Brenda said so. Even in death, Brenda said so.

Mama asked me to make this ham, and so I made this ham — and I will keep making it every year at every table for as long as I am alive, because that is what she told me to do. The recipe below is the one I’ve been making for years, the one she watched me perfect, the one that came out of the oven golden and glistening at 10:15 on the hardest night of my life. I’m sharing it here because food that carries that kind of weight deserves to be written down.

Perfect Holiday Ham

Prep Time: 20 minutes | Cook Time: 3 hours 30 minutes | Total Time: 3 hours 50 minutes | Servings: 16–20

Ingredients

• 1 bone-in fully cooked ham (8–10 lbs), preferably shank or butt end
• 1 can (20 oz) sliced pineapple rings, juice reserved
• 1/2 cup packed dark brown sugar
• 1/4 cup honey
• 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
• 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
• Whole cloves, for studding (about 30–40)
• Maraschino cherries, optional, for garnish

Instructions

1. Preheat and prep. Preheat your oven to 325°F. Remove the ham from its packaging and pat dry. Place it cut-side down in a large roasting pan. Let it sit at room temperature for 20 minutes while the oven comes up to heat.
2. Score the ham. Using a sharp knife, score the surface of the ham in a diamond pattern, cutting about 1/4 inch deep and spacing the cuts roughly 1 inch apart. This allows the glaze to penetrate and gives you a place to press the cloves.
3. Stud with cloves. Press a whole clove into the center of each diamond intersection across the surface of the ham.
4. Make the glaze. In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine the brown sugar, honey, Dijon mustard, apple cider vinegar, cinnamon, allspice, and 1/4 cup of the reserved pineapple juice. Stir and cook until the sugar dissolves and the glaze is smooth and slightly thickened, about 3–4 minutes. Remove from heat.
5. Apply pineapple rings. Arrange pineapple rings across the top and sides of the ham, securing each one with a toothpick or maraschino cherry if desired.
6. Glaze and roast. Brush a generous layer of glaze over the entire surface of the ham, covering the pineapple rings and all scored areas. Transfer to the oven and roast uncovered, basting with additional glaze every 45 minutes, until the internal temperature at the thickest part of the meat (away from the bone) reaches 140°F. For an 8–10 lb ham, this will take approximately 3 to 3 1/2 hours.
7. Caramelize the finish. In the last 20 minutes of cooking, brush on one final heavy coat of glaze and increase the oven temperature to 400°F. This caramelizes the exterior to a deep, glistening golden brown. Watch closely to prevent burning.
8. Rest before slicing. Remove the ham from the oven and tent loosely with foil. Let it rest for 20 minutes before slicing. This allows the juices to redistribute throughout the meat. Remove toothpicks before serving.
9. Serve. Arrange on a platter with the pineapple rings and any pan drippings spooned over the top. Serve warm at the table, surrounded by the people who need to be fed.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 310 | Protein: 28g | Fat: 12g | Carbs: 18g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 1,420mg