By December 2031. Marco's last season at Eldorado Prep complete. He leaves for college in January. This is the third child leaving and I know the shape of it now. I know what the dorm room looks like. I know what the drive home feels like. I know that the house will be quieter in a specific way and that the quiet will be survivable and eventually good. I am not less sad for knowing this. Knowing the shape of a grief doesn't reduce it. It just means you can set it down and pick it up and carry it without being knocked over by it.
He came to my office on a Monday in December and sat down and said, "I want to talk about next year." He had a notebook. Not a legal pad — Elena had given him a proper journal the summer before, with a hardcover and good paper. He had it open to a page with notes. He asked me questions about college football transition — what's different, what transfers, what he'll need to relearn. We talked for two hours. At the end he said, "Dad." I said yes. He said, "Thank you for treating me like a player." I said he was always a player. He was my son too. He said, "I know. But the player part first." Yes. The player part first. That's how we honored each other. That's how we kept the relationship clean and real and worth having.
Twenty dozen tamales. One last Christmas batch with both twins in the kitchen. Elena in her first year of college next year, Marco leaving in January. This kitchen. These people. These hands making the thing that comes from the people who made us.
We made tamales that December — twenty dozen, the twins’ last Christmas in that kitchen together — and somewhere between the masa and the filling I understood that what we were really making was the memory itself. These Raspberry Sandwich Spritz cookies carry the same logic: they’re a lot of work, they require more than one set of hands, and the whole point is the making. When the house gets quiet in January, I’ll have the recipe. I’ll have the tin. And I’ll know exactly whose hands helped fill it.
Raspberry Sandwich Spritz
Prep Time: 30 min | Cook Time: 12 min | Total Time: 45 min | Servings: 36 sandwich cookies
Ingredients
- 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
- 2/3 cup granulated sugar
- 1 large egg
- 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
- 1/2 teaspoon almond extract
- 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 cup seedless raspberry jam
- 1/2 cup powdered sugar, for dusting (optional)
Instructions
- Preheat oven. Preheat your oven to 375°F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside.
- Cream butter and sugar. In a large bowl, beat the softened butter and granulated sugar together with an electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.
- Add egg and extracts. Beat in the egg, vanilla extract, and almond extract until fully combined, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed.
- Mix in dry ingredients. Reduce mixer speed to low and gradually add the flour and salt, mixing just until a soft dough forms. Do not overmix.
- Fill the cookie press. Load the dough into a cookie press fitted with a ribbon or flower disk. Press cookies onto the prepared baking sheets, spacing them about 1 inch apart.
- Bake. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, until the edges are just barely golden. Watch carefully — these bake quickly. Let cool on the pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.
- Warm the jam. In a small saucepan over low heat (or in the microwave in 15-second intervals), warm the raspberry jam until it is loose and spreadable. Stir until smooth.
- Assemble sandwiches. Once cookies are completely cool, spread a thin layer of raspberry jam on the flat side of one cookie. Press a second cookie on top, flat sides together, to form a sandwich. Repeat with remaining cookies.
- Finish and serve. Dust lightly with powdered sugar if desired. Arrange on a serving platter or pack into a tin. These keep well in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 5 days.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 112 | Protein: 1g | Fat: 5g | Carbs: 16g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 18mg