Elijah is two months old. He's found his voice — not words, not babble yet, but sounds. Cooing. Gurgling. The experimental vocalizations of a person testing the acoustics of his new world. He coos at the ceiling fan (the relationship is serious). He coos at Mama. He coos at me at 4 AM and the cooing is so beautiful that I forget, momentarily, that it's 4 AM and that sleep is a constitutional right being violated.
Two months and the rhythm is establishing itself. Not smooth — nothing in this household is smooth — but consistent. Wake, feed, school, work, pump, pick up, dinner, bedtime, feed, sleep (sort of), repeat. The rhythm has a backbeat of exhaustion and a melody of purpose and the whole thing sounds like a jazz piece played by musicians who are very good at their instruments but haven't rehearsed together. We're improvising. Every day is a jazz set. Some nights we nail it. Some nights we play in different keys. But the music continues because the audience (three kids, one grandmother, one distant co-parent) is too invested to leave.
Chloe turns nine in February but she's already nine in competence. She makes her own breakfast now — cereal, or toast with peanut butter, or the scrambled eggs I taught her to make last month ("Low heat, Mama?" "Low heat. ALWAYS low heat. Eggs are not a race."). She packs her own lunch. She helps Jayden log on to kindergarten. She is eight years old and she is the second-in-command of this household and I am grateful and guilty in equal measure because eight-year-olds should not have to be second-in-command but sometimes families need everyone to step up and Chloe was born stepping up.
Amber called from Chattanooga. She and Darren are still trying for a baby. A year now. The trying is becoming a weight. She asked about Elijah — how big, how many smiles, does he sleep — and behind every question was the question she didn't ask: why you and not me? I heard it. I always hear the questions people don't ask. I said: "It'll happen, Amber. It'll happen when it happens." She said: "That's what the doctor says." She said: "I just want what you have." What I have. Three kids, one income, a furlough fresh in my memory, a pandemic, and a co-parent in Atlanta. She wants what I have. The wanting tells you more about the wanter than the wanted. Amber wants motherhood so badly it hurts, and I have it three times over, and the unfairness of biology is a conversation I'm not equipped to have.
I made cornbread and soup — the September preview, the fall teaser. Butternut squash soup, roasted and blended smooth, with a swirl of cream on top and Earline's cornbread on the side. The cornbread is the anchor. Whatever soup changes, whatever season arrives, whatever crisis unfolds, the cornbread is the constant. No sugar. Cast iron. Earline's hands in mine. Always.
The soup I described in that last paragraph — roasted, blended smooth, fall-announcing — starts with this one. When I don’t have butternut squash on hand or I want something a little richer, a little more “the season has arrived,” I turn to this Roasted Garlic & Brie Soup: same technique, same velvet finish, same swirl of cream on top. It was September, Elijah was two months old, and I needed something that required almost no decisions but still felt like I was taking care of everyone — including myself. Earline’s cornbread went alongside it, as it always does, and for thirty minutes the kitchen smelled like fall and nothing else needed to be solved.
Roasted Garlic & Brie Soup
Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 50 min | Total Time: 1 hr 5 min | Servings: 6
Ingredients
- 3 heads of garlic
- 3 tablespoons olive oil, divided
- 1 medium yellow onion, diced
- 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
- 4 cups low-sodium chicken or vegetable broth
- 1 cup heavy cream, plus more for serving
- 8 oz Brie cheese, rind removed, cut into chunks
- 1/2 teaspoon white pepper
- 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more to taste
- Fresh thyme sprigs, for garnish
Instructions
- Roast the garlic. Preheat oven to 400°F. Slice the top 1/4 inch off each head of garlic to expose the cloves. Place on a sheet of foil, drizzle each head with 1 teaspoon olive oil, and wrap tightly. Roast 40–45 minutes until the cloves are deeply golden and completely soft. Allow to cool slightly.
- Sauté the onion. In a large heavy-bottomed pot or Dutch oven, melt butter with remaining olive oil over medium heat. Add diced onion and cook, stirring occasionally, until translucent and softened, about 6–8 minutes. Do not rush this step — the sweetness is the base.
- Add garlic and broth. Squeeze the roasted garlic cloves directly into the pot (they will slide right out). Stir to combine with the onion, then pour in the broth. Bring to a gentle simmer and cook 10 minutes, letting the flavors come together.
- Blend until smooth. Use an immersion blender directly in the pot and blend until completely smooth, about 1–2 minutes. Alternatively, carefully transfer in batches to a countertop blender, blend, and return to the pot. The soup should be silky with no chunks remaining.
- Add cream and Brie. Reduce heat to low. Pour in the heavy cream and add the Brie pieces. Stir gently and continuously until the cheese is fully melted and incorporated, about 3–5 minutes. Season with salt and white pepper.
- Finish and serve. Ladle into bowls. Add a small swirl of cream on top if desired, and tuck in a sprig of fresh thyme. Serve immediately alongside cornbread or crusty bread.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 335 | Protein: 10g | Fat: 29g | Carbs: 9g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 490mg