Saucy Thai Curried Peanut Noodles

A week of heads-down work. Priya assigned me to lead a cross-team effort on the Alexa intent model — twelve engineers across three teams, two continents, and a very opinionated director who has strong feelings about every design decision. I spent most of the week in meetings and drafting a design doc. Two nights I worked past ten. James brought me tea without being asked. The tea was the only thing that got me through Tuesday.

There is a version of this career where I would be thrilled to be leading this project. I am trying to be that version of myself. I am mostly succeeding. What I notice is that I enjoy the problem-solving and resent the politics, and the ratio of problem-solving to politics gets worse as you go up. Priya said this to me once. I did not fully believe her. I believe her now.

Eleven weeks. Normal range. Priya, who has no idea about the search, asked me at the start of our one-on-one if everything was okay and I said, "I'm fine, just tired," and she said, "You have the air of someone who is waiting on a result," and I laughed in a surprised way and said, "That is extremely perceptive." She said, "I'm a staff engineer. I wait on results all day." I did not tell her what I was waiting on. I appreciated that she noticed.

Memorial Day weekend is ahead. David wants me and James to come out to Bellevue for a barbecue. Kevin is coming up. Karen has, per David, "plans for the menu." This is what passes, in my family, for a sign that everyone is coping: Karen plans a menu. I will drive over Saturday and help. I will bring kimchi and a batch of pajeon.

I made kimchi jjigae on Thursday with last month's kimchi — the one that had gotten fully sour, which is ideal for the stew. Pork belly, kimchi, kimchi juice, tofu, anchovy stock, a spoonful of gochujang, scallions. The stew has been my marker this year. Every week I have made it at least once. It is the metronome of my kitchen. James said, "You could probably stop making this every week." I said, "I could. But I won't."

Dr. Yoon: we talked about the house. The marriage-adjacent conversation with James. Whether I am moving too fast or too slow. Dr. Yoon, who rarely offers direct opinion, said, "You know what you want. Let yourself want it." I drove home thinking about that sentence. Let yourself want it. The gratitude trap again, wearing a different mask: the idea that I should be content with what I have, that wanting more is a kind of greed. Dr. Yoon has been trying to unknot this in me for three years. She has unknotted it partially. There is more knot to go.

The recipe this week is kimchi jjigae with pork belly and old kimchi. Sour, hot, deep. A stew you can feel in your bones the next day. The metronome. The steady thing.

I made the kimchi jjigae on Thursday, as I always do, but this week I kept coming back to another bowl I’d made earlier — these saucy, peanut-forward noodles that came together in the time it took James to finish a chapter of his book. There is something about a deeply flavored sauce that requires almost no active work that feels like a small act of grace after two nights past ten o’clock. The curry paste does the heavy lifting; you just have to show up. That felt right this week.

Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 20 min | Total Time: 35 min | Servings: 4

Ingredients

8 oz rice noodles or lo mein noodles
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
1/4 cup full-fat coconut milk
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice (about 1 large lime)
1 tablespoon red curry paste
1 tablespoon toasted sesame oil
1 tablespoon honey or brown sugar
2 cloves garlic, finely minced
1 teaspoon fresh ginger, grated
1 red bell pepper, thinly sliced
1 cup snap peas, trimmed
1 medium carrot, julienned
1 tablespoon neutral oil (such as avocado or canola)
3 green onions, thinly sliced
1/4 cup crushed roasted peanuts, for garnish
Fresh cilantro leaves, for garnish
Red pepper flakes, to taste (optional)

Instructions

Cook the noodles. Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Cook noodles according to package directions until just tender. Drain and rinse briefly under cold water to stop cooking. Toss with a small drizzle of sesame oil to prevent sticking and set aside.
Make the curry peanut sauce. In a medium bowl, whisk together the peanut butter, coconut milk, soy sauce, lime juice, red curry paste, sesame oil, honey, garlic, and ginger until smooth and fully combined. If the sauce feels too thick, thin it with 1–2 tablespoons of warm water until it coats a spoon easily.
Stir-fry the vegetables. Heat the neutral oil in a large skillet or wok over medium-high heat. Add the bell pepper, snap peas, and carrot and cook, stirring frequently, for 4–5 minutes until just tender but still with some bite.
Combine noodles and sauce. Reduce heat to medium. Add the cooked noodles to the skillet with the vegetables. Pour the peanut sauce over everything and toss well with tongs to coat evenly. Cook for 1–2 minutes, stirring, until the sauce is heated through and clings to the noodles.
Serve and garnish. Divide among bowls and top each with sliced green onions, crushed peanuts, and fresh cilantro. Add red pepper flakes if you want more heat. Serve immediately.

Nutrition (per serving)

Saucy Thai Curried Peanut Noodles — The Steady Thing on a Long Week