By Justin's scrimmage was Friday night under lights that have not changed since I played basketball under them in 1994. Same bleachers. Same popcorn smell. Same insect song from the grass behind the bleachers and the same big sky turning purple at the wrong edge. Justin played third-string quarterback for a series and got sacked twice and threw a completion on his third snap that made his teammates mob him. He scored a touchdown on a draw play in the fourth quarter, a little delayed, the defense cheating to the outside, Justin reading it and cutting in and running fifteen yards into the end zone without looking back. I screamed. Dave screamed. Gayle screamed — she came, she came, she rode with Amber in the Taurus — and the woman in front of us turned around and said, "Is that your boy?" and I said, "All three of them," because Tyler was there and Josie was there and Amber was there and on that field in the end zone was my other son, the son I almost lost a thousand times, and he was whole and laughing and I have to write that down because I do not want to forget it.
He ate four pieces of cornbread when we got home. He said, "Mom. That was awesome." He does not say awesome. He said awesome. I wrote it in my journal. I put it in the cookbook in a different form — a page about feeding hungry football players after games, about cornbread that can be made in an hour, about the specific grace of a teenage boy in cleats at a kitchen counter at 10 p.m. Sarah will love it. I loved writing it.
I drove an Omaha run Monday and Tuesday. Uneventful. I made tuna salad in the cab with a can and a packet of mayo and some pickle relish and ate it on saltines, which is my version of in-flight meal service and which is cheap and good and has kept me alive for two decades.
Amber's last week at the pool. She starts senior year in two weeks. Senior year. I keep saying it in my head and it keeps not making sense. I was 17. I had her in my lap when she was 8. I drove her to school when she was 10 and held her hair while she vomited in the bathroom at 11 and watched her read at 12 and I looked up and she was 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, and she has her own car and her own driver's license and her own opinions about college applications and I cannot catch up to her but I do not want her to slow down either. I want her to keep going.
Gayle called Saturday. She said, "I made peach preserves. Come get a jar." I went. I got two jars. I ate half a jar on toast before bed. Her peach preserves taste like 1984. They taste like the kitchen I grew up in. They taste like my sister, who loved them. I will put that in the book too. Everything goes in the book.
Justin ate four pieces of cornbread that night, and I watched every bite, and I thought: this is what I cook for. Not the big productions, not the holidays —rsquo; this, right here, a hungry sixteen-year-old in grass-stained cleats leaning over the counter at 10 p.m. because he just did something extraordinary. I’ve been making these sausage muffins on late game nights for years now because they come together in half an hour, they fill a boy up, and they taste like someone was waiting for you to come home —rsquo; which I always am.
Sausage Muffins
Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 22 minutes | Total Time: 32 minutes | Servings: 12 muffins
Ingredients
- 1 lb bulk breakfast sausage (mild or hot)
- 2 cups biscuit baking mix (such as Bisquick)
- 1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
- 2/3 cup whole milk
- 2 large eggs
- 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
- Non-stick cooking spray
Instructions
- Preheat and prep. Heat your oven to 375°F. Spray a standard 12-cup muffin tin generously with non-stick cooking spray and set aside.
- Brown the sausage. In a skillet over medium heat, cook the breakfast sausage, breaking it up as it goes, until no pink remains, about 7–8 minutes. Drain off excess grease and let cool for 5 minutes.
- Mix the batter. In a large bowl, whisk together the biscuit mix, garlic powder, and black pepper. Add the milk and eggs and stir until just combined —rsquo; a few lumps are fine. Fold in the cooked sausage and shredded cheddar until evenly distributed.
- Fill the tin. Divide the batter evenly among the 12 muffin cups, filling each about 3/4 of the way full.
- Bake. Bake for 20–22 minutes, until the tops are golden and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
- Cool and serve. Let the muffins rest in the tin for 5 minutes before turning out. Serve warm. They reheat well wrapped in foil at 325°F for 10 minutes.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 238 | Protein: 11g | Fat: 15g | Carbs: 15g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 520mg