Shrimp and Grits — The Birthday Dinner I Cooked for Myself Because That Is a Privilege, Not a Tragedy

I turn sixty-one this Saturday. Sixty-one. That number doesn't mean anything to anyone except the woman wearing it, and to her it means: I have been on this earth for sixty-one years and I have fed more people than I can count and I have buried more people than I should have and I am still standing in this kitchen with an apron on and flour on my hands and I am not done yet.

Denise says she's planning something. I told her not to make a fuss. She said, "Mama, you turn sixty-one once." I said, "Denise, you turn every age once. That's how numbers work." She didn't think that was as funny as I did. She never does. That child got Earl's sense of humor, which is to say she got a solid foundation but limited range.

At school, the second week is when things settle. The new kids have found their tables. The kitchen rhythm is back — prep at six, cooking by eight, serving at eleven, cleanup by one. My staff is the same as last year: LaVerne on the line, Tammy on vegetables, and Big Mike washing dishes, who is six foot four and the gentlest man you've ever met and who has been washing dishes in this kitchen for twelve years and takes more pride in a clean tray than most people take in their careers. We are a team. We have been a team for years and we operate like a machine, except machines don't laugh, and we laugh constantly.

The weather broke a little this week. Only eighty-eight on Thursday, which in Savannah in August feels like fall. I opened the kitchen windows at home and the marsh breeze came through, smelling like salt and mud and that particular sweetness that the Lowcountry has at the end of summer when everything is still green but the light is starting to change. September light. It's softer than August light. Gentler. Like the sun is apologizing for July.

For my birthday dinner — on Saturday, the actual day, September 3rd — I told Denise I'm cooking. She protested. I said, "Baby, cooking my own birthday dinner is not a tragedy. It's a privilege. The day I can't cook my own dinner is the day you can worry about me." So I made shrimp and grits — my recipe, the one people ask for, the one that uses stone-ground grits from Sapelo Island and enough butter to make your cardiologist weep. Earl sat at the head of the table in a clean shirt, which is his version of dressing up. Denise and Robert and the kids came. Kayla called from school and sang happy birthday off-key, which she gets from her grandfather, not from me. The choir director in me wanted to correct her. The grandmother in me just listened.

They gave me a new garden hat. Wide brim, floral pattern, ridiculous and perfect. I wore it to church the next morning and Gladys said, "Nice hat." From Gladys, that is the equivalent of a five-star review.

Sixty-one. Still cooking. Still here.

Now go on and feed somebody.

When you’ve been cooking since you were tall enough to reach the stove, some recipes stop being recipes and start being statements—and shrimp and grits has always been mine. On a birthday that belonged entirely to me, made by my own hands by my own choice, nothing else would have been right. Here’s how I made it.

Shrimp and Grits

Prep Time: 20 minutes | Cook Time: 40 minutes | Total Time: 1 hour | Servings: 6

Ingredients

• For the grits:
• 2 cups stone-ground grits (coarse-ground preferred)
• 6 cups water
• 1 cup whole milk
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more to taste
• 6 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into pieces
• 1 cup sharp cheddar cheese, freshly grated
• 1/4 teaspoon white pepper
• For the shrimp and gravy:
• 2 pounds large shrimp (16–20 count), peeled and deveined, tails off
• 6 slices thick-cut bacon, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
• 1 medium yellow onion, finely diced
• 1 green bell pepper, finely diced
• 3 stalks celery, finely diced
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 1 cup low-sodium chicken broth
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon hot sauce (Crystal or Tabasco)
• 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• Salt and black pepper to taste
• 3 green onions, thinly sliced, for garnish
• 2 tablespoons fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped, for garnish

Instructions

1. Start the grits. Bring the water and milk to a gentle boil in a large, heavy-bottomed pot over medium-high heat. Add the salt, then slowly whisk in the grits in a steady stream so they don’t clump. Reduce heat to low, cover, and cook 30 to 35 minutes, stirring every 5 minutes with a wooden spoon and scraping the bottom. Stone-ground grits take patience. That patience is the whole point.
2. Finish the grits. When the grits are thick, creamy, and have lost their raw taste, stir in the butter piece by piece, followed by the cheddar and white pepper. Taste and adjust salt. Keep warm on the lowest setting, stirring occasionally. Add a splash of warm water or milk if they tighten up while you finish the shrimp.
3. Cook the bacon. In a large, deep skillet over medium heat, cook the bacon pieces until rendered and just crispy, about 6 to 8 minutes. Remove the bacon with a slotted spoon and set aside on a paper towel. Leave the drippings in the pan — all of them.
4. Build the holy trinity. In the bacon drippings over medium heat, cook the onion, bell pepper, and celery until softened and just beginning to brown at the edges, about 7 to 8 minutes. Add the garlic and cook 1 minute more, stirring constantly.
5. Make the gravy. Sprinkle the flour over the vegetables and stir to coat, cooking for 1 to 2 minutes to get rid of the raw flour taste. Slowly pour in the chicken broth, stirring constantly to prevent lumps. Add the heavy cream, Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, smoked paprika, and cayenne. Stir well and bring to a gentle simmer. Cook until the gravy thickens enough to coat the back of a spoon, about 4 to 5 minutes.
6. Add the shrimp. Season the shrimp lightly with salt and black pepper and add them to the simmering gravy in a single layer. Cook, turning once, until the shrimp are just pink and curled, about 2 to 3 minutes per side. Do not overcook. Fold the reserved bacon back in. Taste the gravy and adjust seasoning.
7. Serve immediately. Spoon a generous mound of grits into each wide, shallow bowl. Ladle the shrimp and gravy over the top so it settles into the grits. Scatter green onions and parsley over each bowl. Bring it to the table while it’s hot, because this dish does not wait and neither should you.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 610 | Protein: 38g | Fat: 32g | Carbs: 44g | Fiber: 2g | Sodium: 890mg