Two weeks. Two weeks until the due date and I have checked my hospital bag four times and recounted the frozen meals in the freezer three times and called Miguel Jr. seven times and each time he has said, Mami, the baby has not come yet, and each time I have said, I know, Miguelito, I am just checking, and each time he has sighed the sigh of a man who loves his mother but wishes she would stop calling.
I cannot help it. I am about to be a grandmother. GRANDMOTHER. Abuela. The word feels enormous in my mouth, bigger than any word I have ever spoken, bigger even than Mami, which until now was the biggest word I knew. Abuela means I have done something right — I raised a child who became a man who found a woman who is having a baby, and the baby will call me Abuela and I will feed the baby and the feeding will be the continuation of a chain that started with Abuela Consuelo in a kitchen in Bayamon and has not broken yet and will not break now and will not break ever, not while I am alive, not while there is sofrito in the freezer.
Mami finished the blanket. She brought it to my house and laid it on the kitchen table and smoothed it with her shaking hands. It is small and soft and the stitches are uneven and one corner is wider than the other and it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I held it. I pressed it to my face. It smelled like Mami apartment, like the green recliner, like the yarn, like the hands that made it. I said, Mami, it is perfect. She said, The stitches are not even. I said, Mami, it is PERFECT. She looked at me. She understood. She nodded. Some perfection is in the symmetry. Some perfection is in the shaking hands.
At work, I finalized the menu for the week I will be gone. Everything documented, every recipe card updated, every special dietary note filed. Debra reviewed it all. Trish has her assignments. The kitchen will function. It will not be the same — nothing is ever the same without the person who builds it — but it will function, and functioning is good enough for seven days while the head chef becomes a grandmother.
Made tres leches cake tonight because Eduardo asked and when Eduardo asks for something, which happens approximately twice per year, I say yes immediately. The cake soaked overnight in the three milks and in the morning it was dense and sweet and dripping with everything that makes life worth living — cream and condensed milk and the knowledge that in two weeks I will hold a baby and the baby will be mine to feed. Two weeks. The cake is soaking. The love is soaking. Everything is soaking in sweetness and waiting.
The tres leches soaked overnight and I stood in my kitchen thinking about all the cakes that have marked the biggest moments of my life — the cake Mami made when Miguel Jr. was born, the one Abuela Consuelo pulled from her oven for every baptism and birthday in Bayamón. This slow cooker pumpkin swirl cake is that kind of cake — you set it and you let it do its work, slow and steady, while you fold baby blankets and check your hospital bag one more time. It is dense and sweet and it soaks up warmth the way my heart is soaking up every minute of these last two weeks of waiting.
Slow Cooker Pumpkin Peanut Butter Cup Swirl Cake
Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cook Time: 2 hours 30 minutes | Total Time: 2 hours 45 minutes | Servings: 10
Ingredients
- 1 box chocolate cake mix
- 1 cup pumpkin purée
- 3/4 cup water
- 1/3 cup vegetable oil
- 3 large eggs
- 1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
- 1/4 cup powdered sugar
- 4 ounces cream cheese, softened
- 1/2 cup peanut butter chips
- 1/2 cup chocolate chips
- Nonstick cooking spray
Instructions
- Prepare the slow cooker. Spray the inside of a 6-quart slow cooker with nonstick cooking spray or line with a slow cooker liner.
- Mix the cake batter. In a large bowl, combine the chocolate cake mix, pumpkin purée, water, vegetable oil, and eggs. Stir until smooth and well combined.
- Make the swirl mixture. In a separate bowl, beat together the peanut butter, cream cheese, and powdered sugar until smooth and creamy.
- Layer the batter. Pour half of the chocolate-pumpkin batter into the prepared slow cooker. Drop spoonfuls of the peanut butter mixture over the top, then pour the remaining batter over everything.
- Create the swirl. Use a butter knife or skewer to gently swirl the peanut butter mixture through the batter in a figure-eight pattern. Do not over-mix — you want visible ribbons of peanut butter throughout.
- Add the chips. Sprinkle the peanut butter chips and chocolate chips evenly over the top of the batter.
- Cook low and slow. Cover and cook on HIGH for 2 to 2-1/2 hours, or on LOW for 3 to 3-1/2 hours, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with just a few moist crumbs.
- Cool and serve. Turn off the slow cooker and remove the lid. Let the cake cool for 20 to 30 minutes before slicing. Serve warm directly from the slow cooker.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 420 | Protein: 9g | Fat: 22g | Carbs: 49g | Fiber: 3g | Sodium: 430mg