By Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Chloe came home from school and said, "Dr. King had a dream and so does my mama." I don't know what Mrs. Kim is teaching these children but it's working and I'm not going to question the curriculum when it produces sentences like that from my five-year-old.
I checked the board exam results website today. Nothing. Still processing. The waiting continues. Tanisha texted: "Anything?" I texted: "Nothing. You?" She texted: "Nothing. I hate this." We hate this together, the way we've done everything together for two and a half years. Hating things together is its own form of love.
I looked at the Hermitage apartment again. Walked through it this time, with the kids. Chloe counted the rooms: "One for you, one for me, and the kitchen is HUGE, Mama." The kitchen is not huge. It has maybe twice the counter space of our current kitchen. But to a five-year-old who has only ever seen a kitchen the size of a coffin, it IS huge. It has room for a cutting board AND a toaster at the same time. That's luxury. That's the kind of luxury I'm reaching for — not marble countertops, not a six-burner stove. Just a counter where I can chop onions without moving the toaster. That's the dream. Earline would understand.
Jayden ran around the empty apartment yelling, "MY ROOM! MY ROOM!" He doesn't have his own room yet — he sleeps in my room, in the crib he's outgrown, in the corner behind a curtain I hung for privacy. The Hermitage apartment has two bedrooms. Real bedrooms. With doors. Chloe would get one. Jayden would get one. I would sleep in the living room on a pull-out couch, which is fine, which is more than fine, because my children having their own rooms is worth sleeping on a pull-out couch for the rest of my life.
The rent is $1,150/month. My current rent is $950. The difference — $200/month — is the exact distance between a Waffle House waitress and a dental hygienist. I haven't signed the lease yet. I need the board results first. I need the job confirmed. But the apartment manager said she'd hold it for two weeks. Two weeks. The world is giving me two weeks, which is exactly as much time as I need. Everything is lining up. Everything is almost.
I made chicken fried steak for dinner — the MLK Day tradition from Mama's kitchen. Cube steak, flour, oil, white gravy, mashed potatoes. Danny's recipe that Mama kept. The food of the man who left, made by the woman he left behind, eaten by the granddaughter who never knew him. Food outlives the people who cooked it. Recipes outlive the relationships that created them. The chicken fried steak doesn't know that Danny is gone. It just tastes like it always has: crispy, salty, covered in gravy, honest. Some things are honest even when the people aren't.
Every MLK Day, no matter what else is uncertain — the board results, the lease, the next step — this is what I make. It’s Danny’s recipe, which means it’s also Mama’s recipe now, which means it’s mine. These steak bites are the same honest, crispy, gravy-covered thing I grew up eating, just cut smaller so Chloe and Jayden can reach for seconds without a fork and knife. Some traditions you keep exactly as they are. Some you adjust just enough to fit the table you’re sitting at now.
Danny’s Chicken Fried Steak Bites with White Gravy
Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 20 min | Total Time: 35 min | Servings: 4
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 lbs cube steak, cut into 1 1/2-inch pieces
- 1 cup all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1 teaspoon onion powder
- 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
- 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
- 1 teaspoon salt, divided
- 2 eggs
- 1/4 cup whole milk
- 1/2 cup vegetable oil, for frying
- For the white gravy:
- 3 tablespoons pan drippings or butter
- 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
- 2 cups whole milk
- 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
Instructions
- Season the flour. In a shallow bowl, whisk together 1 cup flour, garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and black pepper. In a second shallow bowl, whisk the eggs with the milk.
- Dredge the steak. Pat the cube steak pieces dry. Dip each piece in the seasoned flour, then the egg wash, then back into the flour, pressing to coat well.
- Heat the oil. Pour oil into a large cast-iron or heavy skillet over medium-high heat. The oil is ready when a pinch of flour sizzles immediately on contact.
- Fry in batches. Working in batches so you don’t crowd the pan, fry steak bites 3—4 minutes per side until deep golden brown and cooked through. Transfer to a paper towel-lined plate and season with the remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt while still hot.
- Make the gravy. Pour off all but 3 tablespoons of drippings from the pan. Over medium heat, whisk in 3 tablespoons flour and cook 1 minute, scraping up any browned bits. Slowly pour in the milk, whisking constantly, and cook 4—5 minutes until thick and smooth. Season with salt and pepper.
- Serve. Arrange steak bites on a platter, pour white gravy over the top or serve alongside for dipping. Best with mashed potatoes.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 520 | Protein: 38g | Fat: 28g | Carbs: 26g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 680mg