Thai Peanut Chicken Casserole

A week of integration. The video call happened. The proposal happened. I am an engaged woman whose birth mother exists, and these two facts coexist in me now, and I am still figuring out what it feels like to walk around carrying them.

I went back to work on Tuesday. I told Priya about the engagement. She hugged me, which is the first and maybe last time Priya will ever hug me. She said, "This is wonderful. Do you want the week off?" I said, "No. I want to work. I need normal." She said, "Okay. Come to me if you need anything." I did not need anything. The day was ordinary. The Alexa intent project continued. I led a meeting. I ate lunch at my desk. Normal was a relief.

Karen and David drove up on Saturday. Karen brought her book club edition of a novel I had already read and her nice tea set, because Karen is a woman who brings a nice tea set to her daughter's condo when her daughter has just become engaged, because these are the things you do. She wanted to see the ring. She held my left hand in her shaking right hand and said, "It's just right. It's exactly right." David said, "I got the jeweler recommendation from a guy at church and then James did all the rest. I had nothing to do with it." James said, "He vetted the jeweler. He vetted the jeweler thoroughly." David, flushing, said, "I vetted the jeweler."

We had dinner at the condo — I made doenjang jjigae and bulgogi and rice and three banchan. Karen ate well. She asked about Jisoo. She asked what Jisoo looked like and what her voice was like and what her kitchen looked like on camera. I told her everything. Karen listened. At the end she said, "I'm glad she's a good mother. I was afraid of the alternative." I said, "Mom." She said, "Not for me. For you. I don't want you to have gone through all that to find a woman who didn't love you. That would have broken my heart." I said, "She loves me." Karen said, "I know. I can see it in your face."

James and I have started talking about the wedding. Small, we both agree. Fifty people. A winery somewhere outside the city. Next fall, probably September or October. Jisoo via FaceTime — the agency is going to set up a live stream with Hye-jin translating. I said I want Jihoon and Eunji to come if they can, and Jisoo says Jihoon is going to try and Eunji is not sure yet. Eunji is still working out her feelings about me. I respect that. I would rather she come when she is ready than come because she felt obligated.

Dr. Yoon: we talked about integration. She said, "You have been living in two stories your whole life — the one you were given and the one you were missing. Now they are one story. It will take time to feel that." I said, "I feel it now, in flashes." She said, "Flashes are good. Flashes become steady." I wrote that down.

The recipe this week is doenjang jjigae with pork belly — my weekly metronome stew, but richer than usual, with clams added. Jisoo's variation. She said her mother used to add clams when she could get them. I got manila clams from the fish market in the ID on Saturday morning. I added them in the last five minutes. The broth became briny and deep. Karen said it tasted like the ocean in a good way. I thought: everyone I love is eating my grandmother's stew in Seattle, two generations removed, and none of us are apologizing for any of it. That is a kind of healing you cannot schedule. That is a kind of healing you only notice afterwards.

The doenjang jjigae was the meal I needed to make — the one tied to Jisoo’s mother and the clams and the broth that tasted like the ocean — but this Thai Peanut Chicken Casserole is the recipe I reach for when I need something that asks less of me and gives just as much back. It’s warm and deeply savory and it feeds a table, which is what all the best food does. If you are in a week of integration, of flashes becoming steady, of two stories slowly becoming one — make something that holds together in the pan and on the plate, something that asks you only to let it cook.

Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cook Time: 40 minutes | Total Time: 55 minutes | Servings: 6

Ingredients

2 lbs boneless, skinless chicken thighs, cut into 1-inch pieces
8 oz rice noodles, cooked and drained
1 cup coconut milk
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
3 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons lime juice (about 1 lime)
1 tablespoon fish sauce
1 tablespoon brown sugar
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon fresh ginger, grated
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1 red bell pepper, thinly sliced
1 cup shredded carrots
2 cups broccoli florets
3 green onions, sliced, for garnish
1/4 cup chopped roasted peanuts, for garnish
Fresh cilantro, for garnish
Red pepper flakes, to taste

Instructions

Preheat and prep. Preheat your oven to 375°F. Lightly grease a 9x13-inch baking dish and set aside.
Make the peanut sauce. In a medium bowl, whisk together the coconut milk, peanut butter, soy sauce, lime juice, fish sauce, brown sugar, garlic, ginger, and sesame oil until smooth and fully combined. Taste and adjust seasoning — add red pepper flakes if you want heat.
Layer the casserole. Spread the cooked rice noodles evenly in the prepared baking dish. Scatter the bell pepper, shredded carrots, and broccoli over the noodles. Arrange the chicken pieces on top.
Add the sauce. Pour the peanut sauce evenly over the entire casserole, pressing down gently to help it settle into the noodles and vegetables.
Bake. Cover the dish with foil and bake for 25 minutes. Remove the foil and bake an additional 12–15 minutes, until the chicken is cooked through and the top is lightly set and fragrant.
Finish and serve. Let the casserole rest for 5 minutes. Top with sliced green onions, chopped roasted peanuts, and fresh cilantro. Serve directly from the pan.

Nutrition (per serving)

Thai Peanut Chicken Casserole — The Stew That Holds Everything Together