By I posted the essay I wrote two weeks ago. The one about why I cook outside. I didn't change it much — took out one line that went too far toward the personal and left the rest, which still goes toward the personal but from the side, not directly. The essay doesn't mention the war. It doesn't mention the barn. But if you read it carefully — if you read "cooking at three in the morning when the house is too quiet" and "the fire does the thing that nothing else does in the dark hours" — you might understand what it's actually about.
The response was different from any post I'd written. Usually the comments are about the recipes — did this, tried that, used venison instead of elk, found the dried chiles at a Mexican grocery in Denver. The response to the essay was longer and quieter. People said things like "I needed to read this today" and "I do this too and didn't know what to call it." The Wyoming man wrote: "That's the one. That's the thing you've been getting at." I knew he was right. That was the thing.
March 8th is coming. Three years. I've been feeling it in the peripheral vision for two weeks. The body knows March is coming. I've made my plan: drive to the cottonwood tree. Say Derek's name. Come home. Don't drink. The plan works. I'm going to keep executing the plan.
I drove to Billings Monday for VA and the PT check-in. The leg is stable. The PT, Martinez, says I don't need to come monthly anymore, just quarterly. I said I'd take the quarterly appointments. I also said thank you, because the physical therapy has made a real difference and I should say that when it's true.
The essay was about the fire, and this is the recipe that taught me what I meant. Veal chops with a mustard-sage crust — the kind of thing you cook slowly, outside, where the smell of sage going into heat does something to the air around you that a kitchen never quite replicates. I’ve made this a dozen times at three in the morning and I’ve made it in the late afternoon before a storm rolled in off the Beartooths. It doesn’t matter. The crust needs your attention, and giving something your attention is the whole point.
Veal Chops with Mustard-Sage Crust
Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 20 min | Total Time: 35 min | Servings: 4
Ingredients
- 4 bone-in veal rib chops, about 1 inch thick (8 oz each)
- 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
- 1 tablespoon whole-grain mustard
- 2 tablespoons fresh sage leaves, finely chopped
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1/2 cup dry breadcrumbs
- 2 tablespoons olive oil, plus more for the grill or pan
- 1 teaspoon kosher salt
- 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
- 1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes (optional)
- Lemon wedges, for serving
Instructions
- Prepare the crust. In a small bowl, combine the Dijon mustard, whole-grain mustard, chopped sage, and minced garlic. Stir together until evenly blended. In a separate shallow dish, mix the breadcrumbs with 1 tablespoon of olive oil, salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes if using.
- Coat the chops. Pat the veal chops dry with paper towels. Brush each chop generously on both sides with the mustard-sage mixture. Press each chop firmly into the breadcrumb mixture, turning to coat all sides evenly. Let the chops rest at room temperature for 10 minutes so the crust adheres.
- Build your heat. If cooking over fire, let the coals burn down to a steady medium-high heat with no open flame. If using a cast iron pan on a burner or camp stove, heat the pan over medium-high until a drop of water skips across the surface. Add the remaining tablespoon of olive oil.
- Sear and cook. Place the chops in the pan or on the grate. Cook without moving them for 4 to 5 minutes until the crust is deep golden and set. Flip carefully with tongs, keeping the crust intact. Cook another 4 to 5 minutes for medium doneness (internal temperature 145°F). Adjust time slightly for thicker or thinner chops.
- Rest before serving. Transfer chops to a cutting board and tent loosely with foil. Let rest 5 minutes — this is not optional. The rest is what keeps the meat from going dry and lets the crust firm up the last bit. Serve with lemon wedges alongside.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 380 | Protein: 42g | Fat: 18g | Carbs: 10g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 620mg