Zucchini Noodles Peanut Sauce -- The Peanut Sauce That Carried Me Through

July. Independence Day. No fireworks this year — or rather, private fireworks, illegal ones shot from backyards by Alaskans who don't ask permission for things they consider fundamental rights, the explosions rattling through the Anchorage neighborhoods at 11 PM in the daylight, because Independence Day fireworks in Alaska happen in broad daylight due to the midnight sun, which makes them less impressive and more existentially absurd. Fireworks in daylight. A celebration you can barely see. A metaphor for 2020 itself — the gesture happening, the impact invisible.

I worked a shift and came home and made my own version of a celebration: kare-kare, the oxtail peanut stew, the labor-intensive dish that Lourdes reserves for occasions. The occasion: I'm alive. The ER hasn't killed me. The pandemic hasn't killed me. Lourdes is alive. Angela is alive. Joseph is on the water and alive. Mark is in San Diego and alive. We are all alive, and in 2020, alive is the celebration, alive is the fireworks, alive is the bright thing you set off against the darkness and watch with gratitude even though you can barely see it.

The kare-kare took three hours. The oxtail braised. The peanut sauce thickened. The bagoong sat on the side, waiting. I ate it at the table, alone, with rice and the bagoong and the satisfaction of having made something complicated because the simplicity of survival-mode cooking was starting to feel like a limitation and my hands needed a challenge and the challenge was oxtail and peanuts and patience.

Jason crossed my mind for the first time in weeks. Not with pain — with neutrality. The way you think of a city you used to live in. The way you think of a jacket you used to wear. He exists in my past now, in the section of my history labeled "the firefighter, the long-distance, the ending." The neutrality is the healing. The neutrality is what comes after the grief passes and the space it occupied fills with other things — work, family, cooking, the daily machinery of a life that has moved on, quietly, without announcement, the way rivers move on after a rock is removed. The water doesn't announce the absence of the rock. The water just flows.

The three-hour kare-kare was for the occasion — the big, slow, labor-intensive proof that I was still here and still capable of patience. But the peanut sauce itself? That became a weeknight ritual. Something about the richness of peanuts, the way it coats everything it touches, felt like the flavor of getting through. This zucchini noodle version is what I started making when I needed the comfort of that sauce without committing the whole day: fast enough for a post-shift dinner, grounding enough to remind me that the water keeps flowing, with or without the rock.

Zucchini Noodles with Peanut Sauce

Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 10 min | Total Time: 25 min | Servings: 2

Ingredients

• 3 medium zucchini, spiralized into noodles
• 1/2 cup natural creamy peanut butter
• 3 tablespoons soy sauce (or tamari for gluten-free)
• 2 tablespoons rice vinegar
• 1 tablespoon sesame oil
• 1 tablespoon honey or maple syrup
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon fresh ginger, grated
• 2–4 tablespoons warm water (to thin sauce)
• 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes (optional)
• 2 green onions, thinly sliced
• 2 tablespoons chopped roasted peanuts
• Fresh cilantro, for garnish
• Lime wedges, for serving

Instructions

1. Make the peanut sauce. In a medium bowl, whisk together peanut butter, soy sauce, rice vinegar, sesame oil, honey, garlic, and ginger until smooth. Add warm water one tablespoon at a time until the sauce reaches a pourable, creamy consistency. Taste and adjust seasoning — more soy for salt, more vinegar for brightness, red pepper flakes for heat.
2. Prep the zucchini noodles. Spiralize zucchini into noodles. Lay them on a clean kitchen towel or paper towels and press gently to absorb excess moisture. This keeps the sauce from getting watery.
3. Warm the noodles (optional). For a warm dish, heat a large skillet over medium-high heat with a splash of oil. Add zucchini noodles and toss for 2–3 minutes just until slightly softened but still with a little bite. Do not overcook. For a raw version, skip this step entirely — the sauce will soften them slightly on its own.
4. Toss and coat. Transfer zucchini noodles to a large bowl. Pour peanut sauce over and toss thoroughly to coat every strand. Work quickly so the noodles stay lively.
5. Serve and garnish. Divide into two bowls. Top with sliced green onions, chopped roasted peanuts, and fresh cilantro. Serve immediately with lime wedges on the side — a squeeze of lime over the top right before eating brightens the whole dish.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 420 | Protein: 16g | Fat: 30g | Carbs: 26g | Fiber: 5g | Sodium: 890mg