By December. The last one. The last December where I'm a student. The last December where I wake up wondering if I can do this, because after this December, the answer is: I DID do this. Past tense. Complete. Done.
Finals. One more round. The last exams I'll ever take as a dental hygiene student. Community Dental Health: 96 (my highest score ever — the outreach project was the extra credit that pushed me over). Advanced Clinical Practice: 94 (Dr. Whitfield signed my evaluation and wrote, in her tiny, precise handwriting, "Excellent clinician. Bright future." BRIGHT FUTURE. I photocopied it. It's going in the fridge museum.).
Final semester GPA: 3.91. Cumulative GPA: 3.85. Three point eight five. That's not a number. That's a monument to every 3 AM flashcard, every parking lot cry, every bowl of ramen at 11 PM, every time Lorraine Mitchell watched my kids so I could learn how to hold a scaler. That's a monument to Tanisha and Mr. Gerald and Denise with the $50 tip and Dr. Whitfield's silence. That's a monument to Sarah Anne Mitchell from Antioch, Tennessee, who graduated high school with a 2.8 and a Waffle House apron and who is now graduating college with a 3.85 and a job waiting.
I told Mr. Gerald. This morning. His last pecan waffle with me serving it. I set down the plate and I said, "Mr. Gerald, I'm leaving. I got my degree. I got a job." He looked at me. He was quiet for a long time. Then he reached into his wallet and pulled out a hundred-dollar bill and put it on the table and said, "This is for the college fund. You tell those kids their mama did something important." I cried. He cried. Doris is going to hear about this and she's going to cry too. The Geralds are generous people and the world doesn't deserve them but Nashville has them and I had them and that was enough.
Eleven days until graduation. The cap and gown are hanging in my closet. They're black and shiny and they cost $45 and they're the most expensive outfit I own and the cheapest thing I've ever purchased, because what they represent — two years, a 3.85, a hundred and fifty hours, a thousand patients — is priceless. Chloe asked to try on the cap. I let her. She looked at herself in the mirror and said, "I'm a doctor." Not yet, baby. But someday. Someday that cap will be yours, in a different color, in a different room, and I'll be in the front row, wearing a crown if I want to, because that's what Mitchell women do. We show up. We finish. We wear crowns.
I made Earline's cornbread tonight. No reason. Just because. Because it's December and the apartment smells like cornbread and the cap and gown are in the closet and Mr. Gerald gave me $100 and my GPA is 3.85 and Chloe tried on my cap and said she's a doctor and Jayden is asleep and the world is quiet and the cornbread is golden and I am almost there. Almost. Eleven days. I can taste it. It tastes like cornbread.
Earline’s cornbread doesn’t need a reason — no holiday, no company, no occasion — and that’s exactly the point. I made it tonight because Mr. Gerald cried, because Chloe put on my cap and called herself a doctor, because 3.85 is a real number now and not just a wish, and because some feelings are too big for words and just right for a bowl of batter and a hot oven. Buttermilk corn muffins are my version of Earline’s recipe: simple, golden, a little bit sweet, and made for the moments that deserve something warm on the table even when nobody’s watching.
Buttermilk Corn Muffins (Earline’s Cornbread)
Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 20 minutes | Total Time: 30 minutes | Servings: 12 muffins
Ingredients
- 1 cup yellow cornmeal
- 1 cup all-purpose flour
- 1/4 cup granulated sugar
- 1 tablespoon baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1 cup buttermilk, shaken
- 2 large eggs
- 1/3 cup unsalted butter, melted and slightly cooled
- 2 tablespoons honey
Instructions
- Preheat. Heat your oven to 400°F. Grease a standard 12-cup muffin tin well with butter or nonstick spray, or line with paper liners.
- Mix the dry ingredients. In a large bowl, whisk together the cornmeal, flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt until evenly combined.
- Mix the wet ingredients. In a separate bowl or large measuring cup, whisk together the buttermilk, eggs, melted butter, and honey until smooth.
- Combine. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir gently with a wooden spoon or spatula until just combined — a few lumps are fine. Do not overmix or the muffins will be tough.
- Fill and bake. Divide the batter evenly among the prepared muffin cups, filling each about 3/4 full. Bake for 18–20 minutes, until the tops are golden and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
- Rest and serve. Let the muffins cool in the pan for 5 minutes before turning out. Serve warm, as-is or with a pat of butter and a drizzle of honey.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 178 | Protein: 4g | Fat: 7g | Carbs: 25g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 220mg