Thanksgiving Cake

October. The yellow on the ash trees on our street has filled in and the maples on the courthouse lawn are doing their annual performance of scarlet and orange and the wind today had a cold edge I respected. I wore my jean jacket this morning when I walked Biscuit. I have not worn the jean jacket since April. The pockets still had a receipt from a truck stop in Kearney from April 14. I read it and laughed — I bought a coffee, a bag of pretzels, and a pack of Mentos. That was a Brenda day. That is still a Brenda day. Some things do not change.

Drove a Fort Collins run Monday through Wednesday — a long pull, two nights in a motel — and made stew in the cab slow cooker while heading out and ate it for lunch Tuesday at a rest stop on I-76 west of Sterling. It was windy. The flags at the rest stop were straight out. I ate the stew standing at my truck with the driver's door open for a backrest and I watched the wind and I thought, I am going to miss this. I am going to miss exactly this. The stew and the flags and the wind and the work. I will not miss the work. I will miss the moments the work brings me to. That is a different thing.

Cookbook at sixty-five thousand. Ten thousand to go on the first full draft. I will hit it by mid-November. Then I revise. Then I submit. Then the thing is real in a different way. I cannot think about it yet. I am keeping my head down.

Amber had her senior portraits taken Thursday. She wore a navy sweater and her hair loose and earrings Gayle gave her last year and she looked like a woman in a photograph in a magazine. When I saw the proofs I said, "These are beautiful, honey." She said, "They're okay." She keeps saying "okay" when she means "good" and "good" when she means "great." She undersells herself. She learned it somewhere. I know where. I am working on it. I hope she unlearns it by 22. I hope I unlearn it by 55.

Justin played Columbus Friday. Home game. Caught four passes for 51 yards and scored his first varsity touchdown — a slant route, a jump cut, a ten-yard run through a linebacker who got bigger than he should have. The stadium erupted. Dave shouted things he would not repeat in church. Tyler stood up on his seat. Josie was at a friend's house and missed it, and she is still sulking about that three days later. I jumped up and down. My knees ached and I jumped up and down anyway. Justin pointed at the stands after the score and I did not know who he was pointing at — me, Dave, the crowd, God — but I took it personally. I always take it personally. That is what mothers do.

Gayle made pumpkin bread Sunday. She brought two loaves over. We ate them with coffee. I wrote about the pumpkin bread on Monday. It went straight in the book.

When Gayle set those two loaves on my counter Sunday morning and I poured the coffee and we just sat there eating warm pumpkin bread without saying much, I knew that feeling had to go somewhere permanent — and it did, straight into the book. This Thanksgiving Cake is the recipe that lives closest to that moment: the warm spice, the dense crumb, the kind of thing that makes a cold October morning feel like it was always going to turn out fine. Make it for someone you’d sit quietly with.

Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 55 min | Total Time: 1 hr 15 min | Servings: 12

Ingredients

2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1 can (15 oz) pure pumpkin puree
1 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
1 cup vegetable oil
4 large eggs
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 cup chopped toasted walnuts or pecans (optional)

Cream Cheese Frosting

8 oz cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
2 cups powdered sugar, sifted
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
Pinch of cinnamon

Instructions

Preheat and prep. Preheat your oven to 350°F. Grease and flour a 9x13-inch baking pan, or line with parchment paper and set aside.
Mix dry ingredients. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and ginger until evenly combined.
Mix wet ingredients. In a separate large bowl, whisk together the pumpkin puree, granulated sugar, brown sugar, oil, eggs, and vanilla until smooth and fully combined.
Combine. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir with a rubber spatula until just combined — do not overmix. Fold in nuts if using.
Bake. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and spread evenly. Bake for 50–55 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Let cool completely in the pan on a wire rack before frosting.
Make the frosting. Beat the cream cheese and butter together on medium speed until fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add the powdered sugar, vanilla, and cinnamon and beat until smooth and spreadable.
Frost and serve. Spread the cream cheese frosting evenly over the cooled cake. Slice into squares and serve. Store covered in the refrigerator for up to 4 days.

Nutrition (per serving)

Thanksgiving Cake — The Loaf That Went Straight Into the Book